Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Larry]

Daniel's first:

If your neighbors disgust you, you’d like
to tell all of them “go take a hike”
but you build a tall fence
at some little expense
and on top of each board, add a spike.


and Merlin's:

Beg your pardon but they will not pop
said the customer at a small shop
selling veggies and corn.
Owner said, I’d have sworn
it was fresh; must have been last years crop.

[JustDaniel]

Let your menu board spike at the top
a disclaimer: could be last year's crop
that we're serving today,
but it will be okay
'cause our chef has been working non-stop.

[Larry]

If your chef has been running non-stop
he should stand still in order to chop
or his finger sandwiches
may still have some twitches
and this meal may be a fresh cut crop.

[Merlin]

It's a fresh cut crop but it's mealie
and it really should pop, I mean really!
If a microwave oven
won't do, get a coven
and make 'em chant loud in Swahili!

[Larry]

If a Swahili coven chants loud
they are sure to attract a large crowd
to see if magic works
or it's just a few jerks
gathered 'round an old witch in a shroud.

[JustDaniel]

If a shrouded old witch hangs around
where the grave-digger's opened new ground
then your problem is grave;
watch that they don't engrave
on the granite your name near the mound.

[Merlin]

A mound and my name carved in granite?
Not good, so stop calling me “Janet!”
I'm off to Stonehenge
where I'll get my revenge
and splatter you with a pomegranate!

[JustDaniel]

Pomegranates are not made to toss
at your friends -- no, not even your boss
'cause the seeds make a mess
and they'd have to undress
just to shed them and rid of the dross.

[Larry]

To get rid of the dross in your shed
use a rake or a backhoe instead
for it's piled up like trash
when it fell with a crash;
and bring boxes for the mice crushed and dead.

[JustDaniel]

If you've crushed all the mice and they're dead
let them fertilize your flower bed;
there is no need to waste
them in all of your haste;
let their grey hides grow iris instead.

[Merlin]

Grey hides growing out in the open
gives a fella ideas to go gropen;
for me, I like red 'uns
and generously round buns
with a pair that isn't too slopen!

[JustDaniel]

If you like pears that aren't too slopin'
then you'll need to be fruit-market scopin'
because most have a hump
that will give you a lump
in your throat that makes you start a-gropin'.

[Larry]

If the throat is where you start your gropin’
while you work down to where things are slopin’
then I’d say check the hands
for those diamond-set bands;
if they’re there you had best start some lopin’

[Merlin]

[Merlin]

Dunno what happened above, if anything. I had posted, did a quick edit and the Quote marks scrabbled to @** something. Then the posting disappeared - at least on mine. Here it is again>>>

“They’re there,” said I, “weed best get started
exploring those regions yet uncharted.
Some soft saddle soap
on your cool cantaloupe –
not meant for the pope or fainthearted.”

[Larry]

If a fainthearted Pope was not meant
to expound on licentious intent
then the cantaloupe cleaning
must have had different meaning
and He has always been a nice gent.

[Merlin]

A nice gent, our fainthearted Pope,
I saw him once skipping a rope!
Cantaloupes are forbidden
unless they're well hidden,
elsewise he must say, “Ah, nope-nope!”

[Larry]

He was wise, else He’d say “ah-nope-nope”
and He’d wash His hands using some soap.
Touching a cantaloupe
means He’d never be Pope
and He never was a misanthrope.



sorry about all the "ope" rhymes but that's the way it is sometimes.

[JustDaniel]

I never did meet Miss Anne Thrope
and quite frankly I'd given up hope;
she avoided my stares
as we passed on the stairs;
she shrugged me like I was some dope.

[Merlin]

Anne Thrope smiled and gave me a shrug,
gotta say that she looked pretty smug.
The ole fireplace bear
was as bare as we ware,
and our glühwein was drunk from a mug.