Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[JustDaniel]

If you're trying to add on a curl
ask the hairdresser chick who's named Shirl;
she can do the job quick,
and she'll put it on thick,
so you may as well give it a whirl.

[Larry]

If you give Shirl a whirl then you may
get a very nice style but you'll pay
with an arm and a leg
so I went to see Meg
who does hair but will curl toes to stay.

[JustDaniel]

If your toes have been curled now to stay
I am wond'rin': For what did you pay?
How is Meg advertised?
Did you get extra-sized?
Beyond that, I don't know what to say.

[Larry]

What to say beyond that, I don't know
so I'll tell you Meg's strong but real slow
for when curling your hair
she'll lift you from the chair
and the pain will be felt down below.

[JustDaniel]

If you're feeling the pain down below
be prepared, 'cause in time it will blow;
when it gets all compacted,
one day you're distracted,
and BOOM, it's all over the floor!

[Larry]

If you boom on the floor over all
downstairs tenants, they will start to squall
for the super to act
before others attack
and start booting your butt down the hall.

[JustDaniel]

If they're booting your butt down the hall
grab their legs and stay close to the wall;
they will sooner get tired
from the work that's required
to keep kicking you; soon there's a lull.

[Larry]

There's a lull but then soon you will kick
and you don't even have to be sick
so it's best to prepare
for the husk you now wear
to be stored in a place you can pick.

[JustDaniel]

If it's stored in a place where you pick
and you eat it, you soon may be sick
'cause the stuff in your nose
breeds more germs; don't suppose
that yer butt-crack is sterile, you hick!

[Larry]

Hi Daniel,
Sorry for the confusion but someone with a thin skin might take umbrage. At first, I thought your ending was
one of two “shots” in your last series so I wrote the following:


If I stare I’ll but crack up you hack
at the words you are trying to stack
in a prosaic form
that is far from the norm
in unwarranted verbal attack.


Then I realized you were rhyming without meaning anything insulting so I wrote this:



Stare I will if a hick’s butt will crack
the oak wall in his falling down shack
where he hung an elk’s head
while it wasn’t quite dead
and he cut up his head on the rack.


Beg your pardon for the first one.

Larry

[JustDaniel]

You may cut up your head if you rack
that old brain to engender some crack
that I make's aimed at you!
You need never to stew
that I'm pondering hate in my sack.

[Larry]

I hate pounding the sack that I’m in
to keep wrinkles and lumps that begin
to intrude on my sleep
and they all seem to creep
into hard to reach spots. I can’t win.

[JustDaniel]

I can't win: when my hard-to-reach spots
rub against her who gives me the hots,
when it happens: I try
to engage, but I'm shy
so I faint and then wake seeing dots.

[Larry]

If you see Dot and faint at a wake
it was not from your drinks, Heaven’s sake;
guess you were not aware
of her twin sister Claire
whose attendance has made your mind quake.

[JustDaniel]

If you quake when you try to attend
to what's happening, it's hard to fend
off the urge to just quit,
so you try just to sit
till the meeting will finally end.

[Larry]

Until you meet the finial end
you may think banisters are your friend
but a long backwards slide
makes you wish you had died;
stairs are mundane but do not offend.

[JustDaniel]

Mundane stairs still may make you upend;
hold the bannister if you can't fend
for yourself up and down
or you'll end with a frown
from the fall on your head or rear end.

[Larry]

When you fall, if your rear-end and head
ever meet then you’re probably dead
for that curve in your spine,
means you’re never supine,
and you’ll constantly roll off the bed.

[JustDaniel]

If you constantly roll off the bed
try a hammock for sleeping instead;
it will fit your back-curve
if you do have the nerve
to climb in and not fall on your head.

[Larry]

If you fall in the head don't climb on
to that porcelain chair called the throne
for if hurt and confused
thinking that you've just used
you may wind up flushing your dropped phone.