Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Alan]

over future events' status quo
you have no idea where they will go
if your status is fair
you'll rejoice, take the air
until at least the next Ho-ho-ho

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If you wait for the next Ho Ho Ho
your next Christmas could possibly show
where Ol' Santa got stuck
in the chimney; what luck!
He's caught dead in the house of a ho.

[Larry]

If a hoer’s found dead in the house
then the yard work’s left up to the spouse.
If the lady’s deceased
then the chance is increased
that the husband will sit and get soused.

[JustDaniel]

If a husband who's soused eats the lunch
that his wife made for him, I've a hunch
that he threw it all up
and it made a sick pup
who had lapped the drunken-soup punch.

[Alan]

if you are known for being punch-drunk
every time you get high as a skunk
behaviour you best cool
yes ! stop playing the fool
time to don the habit of the monk

Alan

[JustDaniel]

When you act like a monkey in trees
you can vine-swing wherever you please,
but it you're on the ground
you are easily found
but the humans whose dogs oft have fleas.

[Alan]

to accuse these fine dogs - having fleas !
is an insult to match putting squeeze
on an innocent pup
so you better dry up
and as for your manners - please say please !

Alan

[JustDaniel]

I'm not in the habit of pleas
when it come to those dogs bearing fleas
'cause they cause a bad itch
that was borne by the bitch
who birthed all the pups, if you please.

[Alan]

who drowned all the pups, by whose leave ?
their mother, the bitch, she will grieve
to lose them all together
she's quite under the weather
what the hell did you think you'd achieve ?

Alan

[JustDaniel]

It's not I who drowned any dogs,
nor have I dropped the things in the bogs;
you've mistaken as baddie
this guy, who's a saddie
that you've labeled me with the hogs!

[Larry]

If you've labeled a hog with a chip
and a small notch to ears which you clip
then your bacon is safe
until you start to chafe
for some barbequed ribs and good dip.

[JustDaniel]

Foursome's barbecued ribs made them slip
when they swung and the ball; they would rip
chunks of sod from the ground.
It was bad till they found
they could wipe all the grease off the grip.

[Alan]

you'd best wipe all that grease off the grip
if you're inclined all those burgers to flip
burned on the outside
raw, uncooked inside
who cares, BBQs to quaff, not to sip !

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If you're sipping on barbecue sauce
you have given your sober a toss,
so if you're on the job
you had best hope that Bob
won't be telling the tale to your boss.

[Larry]

If you're tailing your boss you won't be
hard a work but you wanted to see
where he went for his lunch
because you had a hunch
he made girls look like a dollar tree.

[JustDaniel]

Does the Dollar Tree girl give you looks
when you page through the section of books
without purchasing one,
nor does daughter or son,
but you buy frozen stuff your wife cooks?

[Larry]

Your wife cooks frozen stuff you buy but
it feels like a hot stone in your gut
so you smile while you chew
and whenever you’re through
just say thanks and then keep your mouth shut.


(just keeping the string going – my wife’s degree is in Home Economics and she is an excellent cook)

[Alan]

just say thanks and then keep your mouth shut
til set to evict the stone in your gut
when asked did you enjoy
dream of Helen of Troy
say 'not bad', 'quite nice', or, if daring 'somewhat' !

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If she's "somewhat not bad and quite nice"
maybe you should be checking for lice
before hatching on you.
If there's even a few
you should know you are gambling with dice.

[Alan]

you should know you are gambling - a vice
which some genteel folk feel isn't quaite naice
so be a fine toff
state where to get orfft
cut them stone dead, preferably gneiss

Alan