Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Alan]

you can smile even when your lips touch
but be careful wherever you clutch
for a hand gone astray
could intentions betray
then you will be forever in dutch

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If you are forever in touch
with your feelings, you could be in such
a perplexing array
of internal decay
you can't even hold on to your crutch.

[Alan]

If forever you're riding your clutch
it will wear out, then you are in dutch
in middle of nowhere
you do not have a prayer
hope you meet someone who's a soft touch

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If you seek a soft touch at the mall
you are setting yourself up for a fall,
'cause she may yell out loud,
and some guys in the crowd
could splatter your blood on the wall.

[Alan]

if you have a flash flood at the mall
at the architects you'd rightly bawl
cuz they've made a big goof
hell - they forgot the roof
something that tarps will have need to forestall

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If you have to forestall adding roofs
then your buildings had best be called spoofs
of construction we need
unless you've just peed
in your outhouses made for aloofs!

[Larry]

With a loofa used in your outhouse
you may need antiseptic to douse
anything you might rub
up against when you scrub
and before it's returned to your spouse.

[Alan]

Before it's turned over to your spouse
say farewell not to her, but to house
with help of fat lawyer
she's home destroyer
and creep away, like good little mouse

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If the creep weighs as much as a rat
he may live in a shoe or a hat,
so be careful to dress
with eyes open unless
you don't care if you die where it sat.

[Larry]

If you sit on a die you don't care
but if sitting on two, please beware
unlike dung beetles who
conserve strength with their doo
you might crap out while rolling a pair.

[Alan]

You might pair up while rolling a craps
as proven by some quite lucky chaps
Napoleon had brandy
but Hitler sipped shandy
he simply hadn't the bollocks for schnapps

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If the snap on your buttocks were simple
it would hardly have bothered your pimple,
but he rolled up his towel
which he wet with avowal
and caused it to strike on your dimple.

[Alan]

Eureka ! he slapped his own temple
the answer to everything is simple
it's all sevens and sixes
that the answer fixes
forty-two - easy when grasped, that nettle !

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If you grasp on a nettle, the prick
hurts so much that you wish you were sick
in a bed where a nurse
muses writing some verse
and suggests some preposterous schtick

[Larry]

Some posteriors stick and some guests
seem to set in their chairs like a nest
hatching eggs; but the host
offers one final toast...
"Please drive safe or there'll be an arrest".

[Alan]

Please drive safe or there'll be an arrest
and cars will be wrecked, at very best
at worst, you are no more
that'd be rather a bore
oh good, I have got that off my chest

Alan

[Larry]

My good chest had got off long ago
but my shirts are loose now. They don't show
what was my pectoral pride
I'm now trying to hide
'cause it droops to my gut down below.

[JustDaniel]

If food plops on your belly below
try a bib and allow it to flow.
When you're fat you get sloppy
and shirts become gloppy
so wear a napkin or drapeau.

[Alan]

Do wear a napkin or - oh no ! -
what you've eaten for years might well show
so big is your belly
you cannot watch telly
but by a system of mirrors you know.

Alan

[Larry]

By a system of mirrors you know
that your bald spot in back doesn't show
and with plenty of brushing
you'll leave the girls blushing
if you have lots of money to blow