Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Merlin]

A treat, but you don't want to die
as you munch on a young lassie’s thigh
when her need takes the notion
to emit locomotion
that’s a gas from the from the barley or rye!


Brief stop back in the hills, onagin shortly.

[Larry]

If you don’t want the dye in your treats
or some strange chemically preserved sweets
make the candy yourself
from the things on your shelf
before you’re under coroner’s sheets.

Oops! Too late to answer Daniel. I'll answer Merlin's too!


If the barley and rye causes gas
while you're nibbling on a sweet lass
hold your breath for a while
then look up with a smile
as the fog dissipates in the pass.

[JustDaniel]

If the fog dissipates in the pass
where ol' Merlin is restin' his ass
lift the coroner's sheets
to see if Merl's sweets
have come from the leg o' his lass!

[Larry]

Where the legs of this lass have come from
is a derrière some call a bum
but it’s no place to camp
if she’s also a tramp
for diseases may smart if you’re dumb

[Merlin]

If you’re dumb you isn’t too smart
cuz that lassie was likely a tart.
Go find a real who,
not any ole shrew,
since that is the best place to start!

[Larry]

If the best place to start has that sense
of foreboding. The major expense
when you’re trying to find
ladies of the best kind
I’m just too poor to care or convince

[Merlin]

Con Vince is too poor now to care
as he sits on his one-legged chair
thinking back on the times
when he wrote one-line rhymes
with flair, beware, not square, Pierre!

[Larry]

Square Pierre must beware of his flair
when he’s bare with au pairs by the pair
on the stair, chair or floor.
Dare he ask for one more?
Debonair, he’ll declare au contraire.

[Merlin]

I declare, Deb O’Nair and I grooved
many times, though her ma disapproved.
Those two Michelins – wow,
what au pair, holy cow!
Impossible I’d be unmoved!

[Larry]

The impossible Id is unmoved
for the conscious mind never disproved
that some primitive drives
for which man always strives
are like Merlin and Deb when they grooved.

[Merlin]

When Merlin and Deb grooved, they sizzled
till one of them finally fizzled.
The windows got foggy
and Deb got all groggy,
while the Wizard was upright and chiseled.

[Larry]

While the Wizard chiseled the upright
into things which might give some a fright;
folks would ask, “What they’d be?”
“Just some nice girls!”, then he
said they helped to keep him up all night.

[JustDaniel]

If he needs help to stay up at night,
it is best not to over-excite
the old dude; let him sleep
there with haggard Bo Peep.
In the morning they'll both be all right.

[Larry]

They'll be boasts in the morning of night
when the fantasies lived will take flight
but the Wizard's protest
that she wasn't the best
doesn't jibe with his sore legless plight.

[JustDaniel]

Say the poor guy is legless and slight?
I'm afraid he has not come in sight
of this half-blind, old man;
it gets harder to scan
the crowd, even in broad daylight!

[Merlin]

A cock crowed, announcing daylight
and the Wizard thought that was all right
since the broad he had chiseled
lay splintered and grizzled;
politely he vanished stage right.

[JustDaniel]

Politic'ly right, he had vanished;
the chicken he'd drizzled was Spanish,
and in that neighborhood
it wouldn't be good
if he stayed; he would not be thought manish.

[Merlin]

If he stayed in that manish enclosure
she may have chopped off his exposure
so he thought, “peter out”
and then left (not a doubt)
while his peter was safe from disclosure.

[JustDaniel]

Unclothed he was Peter the Grate
'cause his armour was always in state
so he could not be harmed,
but it had to be warmed
in winter; he kept himself straight.

[Merlin]

In winter he kept himself straight
except for his peter, (the Grape).
Like a purple icicle
it resembled a pickle –
not color, but rather its shape!