Rictameter, Poetic form exercise Options

[JustDaniel]

feet blame
everything else
for your nagging ailments
taking attention off themselves
and putting false ideas in your head;
before long you will discover
where the real problem is
and soak those dad-
blamed feet

[Larry]

lame feet
can slow you down
when everything else works
so you try walking on your hands
but you will wind up with some sore fingers
and people all think you’re crazy
when your only goal is
to achieve your
fleet aim

[JustDaniel]

Fleet's aim
to clear colon
and reduce your bloating
is helpful when you're on a ship
and part of a crew following battle;
it's time for docking and repairs
and all hands are needed;
getting home's now
fleet's aim

[Larry]

fleet’s aim
was to help out
with evacuations
so they picked up family pets
along with their owners in the big flood
but didn’t know they were covered
with lots of parasites
and now they must
train fleas

[JustDaniel]

train flees
the rail station
to get all its riders
to their destinations on time;
why must we all be in such a hurry?
is time really that important?
dogs aren't in a hurry
to gather and
train fleas

[Larry]

trains fleas
for the circus
and will make them perform
under magnifying glasses
to view their great strength and agility
but trainers often go too far
with the difficult acts
which will always
strain fleas

[JustDaniel]

brain flees
when I hurry
and it's what's going on
this morning in preparation
for the long trip to JFK airport
hoping to meet up with Dani
on her way to Denver;
I must be one
flea brain!

[Larry]

flight brings
one of our own
and she need a welcome,
right now more than ever before
what with all the turmoil and fear today;
smiles and greetings from a stranger
who is really a friend
sets free the heart,
brings flight

[Luce]

Ice Cream

ice cream
so delicious
forget the slinky dress
come here my sexy Rocky Road
keep me company this fierce summer night
your salty hard parts thrill my soul
bliss on a sugar cone
my love, my dear
ice cream

]
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[Larry]

Hi Luce and welcome to MM and to our little playground Karnak's Crossing. I also love ice cream but have
never had to worry about slinky dresses.

Although there is no rule, we've been using the last lines of the former post, giving them a little twist and then
following it up with one of our own. Kind of like perspiration from inspiration. I'll try to start with yours but
it may be difficult to twist ice cream unless it is frozen real well.

I scream
during pie fights,
especially mincemeat,
during the holiday season
because they are covered with whipped topping
and that may hide some of the taste
which I thoroughly hate
but topping makes
eyes cream

[JustDaniel]

Luce, I'm so pleased that you've visited us down here, and I hope that your contributions in Karnak will be frequent!

I think that your piece is worthy of critique, so I hope that you'll post it up there too!

Jerry, here's a continuation from your piece, memorializing my very brief visit yesterday with Daniah in the departure venue at JFK Airport in NYC. I'd never been there, and in fact hadn't been in NYC since the day after the 9/11 tragedy and several weeks thereafter on National Guard duty working out of Jersey City. It was a great day of adventure yesterday. I asked Dani why she had picked the busiest travel day of the year to visit from Saudi Arabia: it was her brother's birthday, and she's surprising him with a visit to her family (including seeing her mother visiting from Damascus) in Denver.

dream eyes
could well describe
some writings Dani's shared;
I'm hopeful that we will see more
after two hours we spent at the airport;
only seven hours of driving
there and back for the joy
to at last meet
dream eyes

[Luce]

Oops!!!!!

Sorry guys for the mix up. I just read the initial post on Richameter, saw a few samples and thought I was okay in posting mine. I didn't realize there was a chain going on.

Hhhhmmmmm....It's definitely more challenging. So the last line of the poem before me is my point of inspiration - yes?

Okay! "dream eyes" it is.

P.S. Hey Daniel, thanks for suggesting that I put the "ice cream" poem in for crit. I think I'll work on it a bit before I do submit it.

[JustDaniel]

Hey, Luce...

I'll look forward to your posting it for critique. I really love it, and I think it's a worthy piece to discuss with others for sure!

Please remember, however, that there is absolutely NO RULE about following the chain... and quite honestly, it's very hard to break out of an occasional rut that comes from being restricted to two syllables, so your poem gave us a refreshment of inspiration to start a new chain anyhow!!!

And also remember that even if you follow the chain, you can take GREAT LIBERTIES with utilizing the words of the last line. For example, you could start with something like "cream pies," "dorm flies," "dream dies," "dream guys," "stream guise," etc... or even greater departure, such as "Dumb Mose," "Mere Toes," or anything to break out of some rut in which we may have found ourselves.

Note also that if we DID use the exact words, EVERY RICTAMETER would start and end with exactly the same words. We certainly don't want THAT much restriction!

We'll happily anticipate your visiting our prodding each other.

deLightingly, Daniel

[Luce]

Bee hive.
Hear the buzzing.
They’re shouting, “Hail the queen.”
Keep her fit, massage her belly.
The babies, the babies, all are precious.
Defend the hive. You don’t matter.
Alone and you’re nothing,
food for the ants.
Bee hive.

[JustDaniel]

Behave,
you Queen-hater!
Who in the world is Luce?
Want to start a revolution?!
She values every bee who is hived here;
it looks like your are just jealous
since you were not chosen
because you don't
behave!

P.S. That was a wonderful poem, Luce! I love it!

deLightingly, Daniel

[Larry]

behoove
those who enter
to follow our strange leads?
none would be so crass to suggest
that ours is the perfect way to do things,
especially in this forum
where free rein is given
for even those
be-hooved

[JustDaniel]

hoofers
are welcome here
to dance the way they like
so long as they teach us the steps
so we can join with them to glide about
as lucidly as they have learned;
if our hall springs a leak
we'll call in fine
roofers

[Luce]

[size="3"][/size]

Doofus
Scan still going.
Without mercy it spreads.
Why did I click on that damn link?
I’m watching the scan progress like a priest
deprived of sleep keeping vigil,
waiting for miracles.
Wait! No threats. Yayyyy!
Doofus

[JustDaniel]

SUPER, Luce!!

dew drops
on my window
left over from the rain
that bathed my yard with fallen leaves;
I hope my tenant rakes them up today
'cause mixed in are those cherry pits
that always get tracked in
like unwelcome
poo drops

[Larry]

First Daniel's because I wasn't up at 1:00am

rue furs
which are attached
to large fierce animals
that you want to put on your floor
instead of the normal shag carpeting
because if your aim is not true
you’ll wind up on their floor
feeling crappy.
rude furs!

and for the same reason, Luce's

do fuss
if you’re enraged
by the world of today
with political correctness,
politicians or bleeding heart liberals;
bring back accountability
and the consequences.
thief died when he
drew first.

and now to continue the string...

prude drops
jaw in surprise
at the underwear ads
when she's going through her junk mail
and sees more junk shown than ever before
but with all the photo-shop work
and physical features
knows it must be
dude props