"You", FV Poem (Vignette) Options

[Judi]

"You"

You watched as we were herded like animals,
children clutching tattered skirts, the stench
of death upon your splintered decks.

Your whips found our backs, when out of
desperation, from merciless hot sun, no food,
no sleep, we tried to run away.

Your hooded gentry took the lives
of our people to remain superior, and
you kept our children ignorant,
isolated,
segragated,
and threw them scraps of time,
charity, food, but certainly not love..
never love.
When one door opened,
you closed another.

Now we gaze at you
with mistrust, so afraid
you're all alike.

Only time can exonerate the you of you,
that unseen part that may take years
to show, but as certain as the sun
rises in the morning, we will be watching,
and we will know.

Judith Anne Labriola

[Lady Poet]

Dear Judi,

This is a sensitive and exceptionally well written fv on a shameful and hideous part of our American history. Sadly, in these modern times, the lines "Now we gaze at you, not certain who is who, so afraid you could all be alike." go both ways. So much hidden animosity and unseen barriers in all walks of life today. Excellent poem, I have no crit to offer, IMHO you wrote this perfectly, and from another's perfective. Awesome job!

Love and God bless, Pami

[Judi]

Thanks so much, Pami. I was not sure how many replies I would get on this one...I tried to "walk in someone elses shoes" even though I can't possibly have all the feelings that actually were passed from generation to generation (on both sides) ..

All I need for are ideas to improve the poem...that does not mean you agree or disagree... Pami, I am pleased that you liked the thoughts that were in the poem...(((hugs))) Judi

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Judi...Well done for walking in someone elses shoes, very powerful stuff.. prejudice, hatred, mass indignities,,,feeling cuaght well ..IMHO very good piece.
Steve

[Judi]

Judi...Well done for walking in someone elses shoes, very powerful stuff.. prejudice, hatred, mass indignities,,,feeling cuaght well ..IMHO very good piece.
Steve

Steve...Thanks so much! In my writing, I try to always put myself where the other person happens to be...and in every case, one can reverse the picture and put in their own feelings...but in the end, both sides are the same, and time is the answer. My Best, Judi

[Guest_Quietwaters_*]

Hi Judi,

Very poignant. I can imagine Maya Angelou reading this aloud.....

I particularly enjoyed these four lines in the mid-section:

you kept our children ignorant,
isolated,
segragated,
and threw them scraps of time,


Well done!

~ Shel

[Judi]

Thanks Shel,

If we all took time to walk in someone else's shoes, there would be a lot more empathy in the world. Everything takes time, especially this...Judi

[Guest_Don_*]

Hi Judy,

I am not very good at wearing another's shoes. As much as I might relate, there are bridges crossing waters too deep to fathom. We make a big deal out of our shame of slavery, but it exists today around the world. Blacks are far from the only unfortunates. I've delved lightly into black poetry, but fail to fully grasp it. historically it changes and one must be a scholar to sort out what is what. Our nearby Dayton has Paul Dunbar and two national poet lauareates are Rita Dove, Akron, Ohio, and Gwendolyn Brooks, Kansas.

Personnally, I am not ashamed of slavery as it was widespread economic neccessity. I feel blessed that I was not forced into such servitude. Until the industrial revolution manpower was the only resource. A farmer with many sons tended to be wealthier. Nations of course, resort to conscription. I like to compare the soft slavery of today with the direct slavery of yesteryear. The whip and branding have transformed rather than been eliminated.

Everyone has preferences, and mine is a wish that you cease centering your excellent poems.

Don

[Judi]

Thanks Don....Nothing to it but to do it...just a quick edit, and voila...not centered anymore...thanks for the excellent. Nice to see you back! Judi