Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[JustDaniel]

If you're learning to swim in a dream
all that water could be from a stream
that's been loosed in your drawers;
there's no lake here indoors.
What has happened won't breed self-esteem.

[Larry]

Self-esteem will not happiness breed
unless parents have planted a seed
of your limitless worth
while you live here on Earth
and the value of each word and deed.

[JustDaniel]

There is value in each deed and word
in a life set aside and chauffeured
by the Spirit of God;
so, Feliz navidad.
May your new year's light never be blurred.

[Larry]

In the new year if your light is blurred
you’ve imbibed quantities too absurd
to remember the fun
that you had with someone
and your tongue probably needs de-furred.

[JustDaniel]

Your tongue probably can't afford
to continue to act untoward.
Can it clean up its act?
If it can't, it's a fact
that your mouth could be stuffed with a gourd!

[Larry]

If your stuff has been gored your mouth would
be wide open but nobody could
hear the words which you say
over screams anyway
but the meaning is well understood.

[JustDaniel]

If you've at well's lip under-stood
you should know that a full bucket could
splash a bunch on your bod
and if you're fully shod
then your shoes may be ruined for good.

[Larry]

If your good shoes got ruined somehow
I would guess they were made from a cow
but the shoe store I cater
just sells alligator
and they've been waterproof until now.

[Larry]

What are proofs? They have been until now
sacrosanct or like some sacred cow
but the facts that were used
billions have now perused
and mistakes they no longer allow.

[Larry]

They miss steaks and no longer allow
any meat from a pig, fish or cow;
no more milk or soufflés.
Vegetables crowd their days
and eat large plates of tofu somehow.

[Alan]

they eat large plates of tofu, somehow
think themselves better than any sow
with lashings of Quorn
they themselves adorn
but do stay alive, I don't know how

Alan

[Larry]

I don't know, but they do stay alive
barely eating enough to survive.
I would bet, when alone,
they would gnaw to the bone
any drumstick before friends arrive.

[Alan]

Nosh a drumstick before friends arrive
to park their cars, obscuring your drive
when you want to get out
they'll scream and shout
and you wished that you weren't alive

Alan

[Larry]

An old man wished he wasn’t alive
and fell dead. Doctors couldn’t revive!
So his wife’s spirit came
to rekindle their flame
but she left when he couldn’t arrive.

[Alan]

She almost left when he didn't arrive
could he be dead, or was still alive
So she did the twist
and felt doubly best
when he showed her his latest jump jive

Alan

[Larry]

When he showered she jumped in to jive
so he got his loofa and did strive
to soap down front and back
before she could attack
and he barely made it out alive.

[Alan]

So he barely made it out, alive
past the doormen of a well-known dive
just saving his life
avoiding flick-knife
went cruising, on infamous sex-drive

Alan

[JustDaniel]

While cruising his famous sex drive
Alan stumbled upon a bee hive;
he was covered with drones
until one of them hones
on his '2'; now it's up to a '5'!

[Alan]

if your two can't get up to a five
are you sure that it is still alive ?
maybe retired
or even expired
for sure no longer hip, or with jive

Alan

[JustDaniel]

If he thinks he's hip, he can jive
even though he may act like he's five;
let his hands do the talk
'cause he can't do the walk.
It's too bad Helen Hayes ain't alive.