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> an American haiku (...the oak...)
Marc-Andre Germa...
post Jul 20 09, 05:35
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From: Canada
Member No.: 784
Real Name: Marc-Andre Germain
Writer of: Poetry



arid summer -
the oak by the septic tank
dips its roots


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Guest_prerna bala_*
post Jul 22 09, 05:18
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you have a season which is summer, and the Oak which is a tree that needs a lot of water and the septic tank, which is as good as a description can get to the kind of water,
and the thought that where there is a need for water any water is good enough, philisophical i think , a reflection on something similar given below -

in my native language there is a saying which translates to :
"In grasslands - where there are hardly any trees, even the castor oil plant seems a juggernaut!


if you are aiming at minimalistic then you can pare off the "the"s in the second line i suppose and then the "its" as the meaning is implied, without the "its"

arid summer -
oak by septic tank
dips roots







 
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