 Cornflowers and Poppies **, Free verse (some metaphors) |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse  |
 Jul 27 17, 10:52
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 Babylonian  Posts: 91 Joined: 22-June 17 From: Arizona, USA Member No.: 5,325 Real Name: Ali Zonak Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:none  |
Cornflowers and Poppies
When I was young, I saw first love in waving fields of wheat correction: "in fields of waving wheat" Thank you, Eira! still safe from reapers’ scythes. So lovely was your face— with cornflower eyes that shone in heaven’s blue. And your lips— those lips, kissed by the summer sun—how they glowed in poppy red as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes. At harvest time came sharpened blades, and all your beauty fell to naught before my gaze, till I beheld a barren stubble field, soon plowed and buried in the soil— But let no plowshare lay to rest my painted memories of you. ·······  ·······~~~~
It is a poem’s absolute perfection that can lead to its imperfection. ~~~~ |
  
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Jul 28 17, 16:49
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hi Ali,
I love the beautiful descriptions in this poem. with cornflower eyes that shone in heaven’s blue And your lips— those lips, kissed by the summer sun—how they glowed in poppy red as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes. One thought- L2 might read better as in fields of waving wheat as I feel it is the wheat (not the fields) that are waving? A poignant ending, but so true. Where would we be without our memories. A very enjoyable read, Ali. Eira ······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner            |
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Jul 28 17, 17:29
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#3
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Babylonian Posts: 91 Joined: 22-June 17 From: Arizona, USA Member No.: 5,325 Real Name: Ali Zonak Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:none |
QUOTE (Eisa @ Jul 28 17, 17:49 )  Hi Ali, I love the beautiful descriptions in this poem. with cornflower eyes that shone in heaven’s blue And your lips— those lips, kissed by the summer sun—how they glowed in poppy red as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes. One thought- L2 might read better as in fields of waving wheat as I feel it is the wheat (not the fields) that are waving? A poignant ending, but so true. Where would we be without our memories. A very enjoyable read, Ali. Eira Thank you, Eira. You are quite correct. It seemed so right the other way around, lol. Well, DUH! ······· ·······~~~~
It is a poem’s absolute perfection that can lead to its imperfection. ~~~~ |
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Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 20th November 2019 - 12:55 |
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