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> Cornflowers and Poppies **, Free verse (some metaphors)
Ali zonak
post Jul 27 17, 10:52
Post #1


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From: Arizona, USA
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Real Name: Ali Zonak
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Cornflowers and Poppies

When I was young, I saw first love
in waving fields of wheat correction: "in fields of waving wheat" Thank you, Eira!
still safe from reapers’ scythes.
So lovely was your face—
with cornflower eyes that shone
in heaven’s blue. And your lips—
those lips, kissed by the summer
sun—how they glowed in poppy red
as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes.

At harvest time came sharpened
blades, and all your beauty fell to naught
before my gaze, till I beheld a barren
stubble field, soon plowed and buried
in the soil— But let no plowshare lay
to rest my painted memories of you.


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Eisa
post Jul 28 17, 16:49
Post #2


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Real Name: Eira Needham
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Hi Ali,

I love the beautiful descriptions in this poem.

with cornflower eyes that shone
in heaven’s blue And your lips—
those lips, kissed by the summer
sun—how they glowed in poppy red
as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes.


One thought- L2 might read better as in fields of waving wheat as I feel it is the wheat (not the fields) that are waving?

A poignant ending, but so true. Where would we be without our memories.

A very enjoyable read, Ali.
Eira





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Ali zonak
post Jul 28 17, 17:29
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From: Arizona, USA
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Real Name: Ali Zonak
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QUOTE (Eisa @ Jul 28 17, 17:49 ) *
Hi Ali,

I love the beautiful descriptions in this poem.

with cornflower eyes that shone
in heaven’s blue And your lips—
those lips, kissed by the summer
sun—how they glowed in poppy red
as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes.


One thought- L2 might read better as in fields of waving wheat as I feel it is the wheat (not the fields) that are waving?

A poignant ending, but so true. Where would we be without our memories.

A very enjoyable read, Ali.
Eira


Thank you, Eira. You are quite correct. It seemed so right the other way around, lol. Well, DUH!


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It is a poem’s absolute perfection that can lead to its imperfection.
~~~~
 
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