Hydroponic Daffodils, Following in Larry's footsteps Options

[Sekhmet]

The UK has just had the wettest and storm laden winter since records began - thousands of our homes, business and farms have been, and still are devastated, many of them for the second time.

We are all waiting anxiously for Spring to arrive; and now it seems that it just might be coming.





Hydroponic Daffodils



Throughout the mournful months of cloud

bleak rains have drenched our sodden hills;

and yet, this Spring, we'll damply crowd

to worship half drowned daffodils.

They've dragged away the fallen trees

now gales have dwindled to a breeze.



By day, the flooded fields take shine

where swollen rivers had their way.

Whilst sodden sand-bags lurch in line,

to keep engulfing tides at bay.

No longer worth a second glance,

there's nowhere for our lambs to dance.



Each night, on television, they

show devastated homes - with glee.

They're somehow much too bright and gay,

to keep the victims company.

It seems they hardly spare a thought

for ruined lives such rain has brought.



Immersed, our soggy pastures lie.

No grass where once, in playful mood,

lambs frolicked to refresh our eye -

all lost. Submerged in solitude.

We wait 'til 'Some-Time's' sun fulfils

the promise of new daffodils.


First revision - thanks to Daniel for advice.






Throughout the mournful months of cloud
bleak rains have drenched our sodden hills;
and yet, this Spring, we'll damply crowd
to worship half drowned daffodils.
They've dragged away the fallen trees
now gales have dwindled to a breeze.

By day, the flooded fields take shine
where swollen rivers had their way.
Whilst steadfast sand-bags lurch in
to keep engulfing tides at bay.
No longer worth a second glance,
there's nowhere for young lambs to dance.

Each night, on television, they
show devastated homes - with glee.
They're somehow much too bright and gay,
to keep the victims company.
It seems they hardly spare a thought
for ruined lives such rain has brought.

Immersed, our soggy pastures lie.
No grass where once, in playful mood,
calves capered to refresh our eye,
all lost! Submerged in solitude
we'll wait, 'til 'some-time's' sun fulfils
the promise of new daffodils.

[JustDaniel]

The UK has just had the wettest and storm laden winter since records began - thousands of our homes, business and farms have been, and still are devastated, many of them for the second time.
We are all waiting anxiously for Spring to arrive; and now it seems that it just might be coming.

The US has certainly had its share of devastation over the past few months -- and in places that haven't experienced it in decades! It appears that the bulk of it has passed, at least for now.

So pleased to see your addition to the challenge, since you indicated that you were struggling with it. The result doesn't show much sign of struggle!! Great job!!

Hydroponic Daffodils Super Title!

Throughout the mournful months of cloud
bleak rains have drenched our sodden hills;
and yet, this Spring, we'll damply crowd
to worship half[-]drowned daffodils.
They've dragged away the fallen trees[;]
now gales have dwindled to a breeze.

By day, the flooded fields take shine
where swollen rivers had their way.
Whilst sodden sand-bags lurch in line, to keep engulfing tides at bay.
No longer worth a second glance,[Might you use another word than the previous 'sodden' here... or there ?]

there's nowhere for our lambs to dance.

Each night, on television, they
show devastated homes - with glee.
They're somehow much too bright and gay,
to keep the victims company.
It seems they hardly spare a thought
for ruined lives such rain has brought.

Immersed, our soggy pastures lie.
No grass where once, in playful mood,
lambs frolicked to refresh our eye - [likewise 'lambs' ? maybe 'sheep' or 'flocks' ?]
all lost. Submerged in solitude.
We wait 'til 'Some-Time's' sun fulfils [Is this a Brit spelling of 'fulfills'?]
the promise of new daffodils.

deLighting in your sharing, Daniel

[Sekhmet]

Greetings Daniel. I very much appreciated a fresh eye on my Daffodils challenge attempt, and have utilised your suggestions to re-post the verse.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.

Hugs,
Leo

[Alan]

Dear Leo,

How topical, and brilliant ! You have "nailed" it !

Love
Alan

[JustDaniel]

Dear Leo...

I'm pleased to share my dim eyes with you when I get a chance. Of course you're welcome to any of the 'suggestions' (different perspectives) that I offer, but I'm not sure whether you've actually utilized any of them as you said???

I guess I'm addled?

in Light of my dim eyes, Daniel