 Today it's Rainier****, following in Larry and Alan and Leo's Wordsworth footsteps.... |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -> Herme's Homilies  |
 Mar 11 14, 13:47
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 18,596 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
CRITIQUE WELCOMED
Today it's Rainier I wonder at the lonely cloud that's floating east toward the hills. Just yesterday there was a crowd of them that wet the daffodils and filled the lakes and slaked the trees. Today there's but a warming breeze. It's joy to see Mt Rainier shine where billows have since gone away. The foothills form a wondrous line that yesterday kept clouds at bay. Today snow peaks can't miss your glance, and circling hawks all seem to dance. Red robins find their prey, and they are feeding all their kin with glee. Seems all the animals are gay and keep each other company. Such pleasure in this day, I thought. Could anything more peace have brought? I've nothing more to do than lie on dewy grass and share the mood. The cloud will morph before my eyes as I lounge here in solitude. Puyallup Valley always fills my heart... and fields with daffodils. © MLee Dickens'son 2014 ... allowing my mind to drift back to my roots in Tacoma, WA Source of the challenge: Use the last words of each line of Wordsworth's poem:
I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud By William Wordsworth I wandered lonely as a cloud That floats on high o'er vales and hills, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of golden daffodils; Beside the lake, beneath the trees, Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. Continuous as the stars that shine And twinkle on the milky way, They stretched in never-ending line Along the margin of a bay: Ten thousand saw I at a glance, Tossing their heads in sprightly dance. The waves beside them danced; but they Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: A poet could not but be gay, In such a jocund company: I gazed—and gazed—but little thought What wealth the show to me had brought: For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils. ·······  ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Mar 12 14, 10:53
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 Greek Posts: 743 Joined: 3-February 09 From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK Member No.: 754 Real Name: Leonora Wyatt Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:No one at all |
Hi Daniel - Tacoma and Mount Rainier sound the ideal place to relax - no wonder your mind drifts so easily back. Don't lay about on that dewy grass too long!
I really enjoy the poetic challenges - Mostly because I have no friendly inspiration popping in to force me to take up a blank page and write. I am so full of admiration for those of my fellow MM members, (such as yourself) who seem to be able to conjure up a sonnet at a moment's notice. At least the challenges give me something on which to focus. Hugs, Leo. p.s. Your picture is not altogether clear - but you seem to be holding a pooch of some kind. I am a dog fanatic, and have tried to magnify it out of sheer curiosity. I'd like to know what brand of dog you have please. By their dog shall you know them. L. ······· ······· |
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Mar 13 14, 07:29
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Greek Posts: 743 Joined: 3-February 09 From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK Member No.: 754 Real Name: Leonora Wyatt Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:No one at all |
Daniel - I'm so, so sorry! My eyesight is not what it was, and having looked again, I was appalled to realize that what you are holding is a swaddled babe, and not a rather woolly mut.
I humbly beg your pardon for my mistake, which I attribute to advancing age and general idiocy! Sorry again, Leo 
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Mar 13 14, 21:05
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#4
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,596 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hey, Leo! Thanks for your visit to my pondering!
QUOTE (Sekhmet @ Mar 12 14, 11:53 )  Hi Daniel - Tacoma and Mount Rainier sound the ideal place to relax - no wonder your mind drifts so easily back. Don't lay about on that dewy grass too long! It would be disadvantageous to lie about on it during our present weather where I presently reside in New Jersey, for sure!! I really enjoy the poetic challenges - Mostly because I have no friendly inspiration popping in to force me to take up a blank page and write. Yes, they are a great stimulus to be creative! I am so full of admiration for those of my fellow MM members, (such as yourself) who seem to be able to conjure up a sonnet at a moment's notice. At least the challenges give me something on which to focus. Hugs, Leo. The gifts of others in doing so, likewise often greatly stimulate my own focus as well. On other occasions (particularly when I've been wrestling with depression) their wonderful gifts have made me feel very inadequate. But of course that's not their fault, but my own struggle within myself! Eventually I get past it and get off my pity party. We all have SO MUCH to share with each other! p.s. Your picture is not altogether clear - but you seem to be holding a pooch of some kind. I am a dog fanatic, and have tried to magnify it out of sheer curiosity. I'd like to know what brand of dog you have please. By their dog shall you know them. Actually, the picture is of me with my youngest grandchild, Gabriella. What is interesting is that when I come into the house I often refer to either her or her brother Dominic as "my little pooch"! LOL The dog that we currently own is some kind of a mix, purportedly of an Australian cattle dog and perhaps a Dalmatian. We're not really sure, but since we 'rescued' here from the local animal shelter, we're helping her through some significant emotional issues. deLighting in your sharing, Daniel 
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Mar 13 14, 21:09
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#5
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,596 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Sekhmet @ Mar 13 14, 08:29 ) Daniel - I'm so, so sorry! My eyesight is not what it was, and having looked again, I was appalled to realize that what you are holding is a swaddled babe, and not a rather woolly mut. I humbly beg your pardon for my mistake, which I attribute to advancing age and general idiocy! Sorry again, Leo Thank you for coming back, Leo. I definitely identify with your eyesight issues. I have those issues myself. Advancing age, yes.... idiocy NO!!! ... at least on your part! Certainly nothing to ask forgiveness for! deLighting still in your willingness to openly share your observations, Daniel
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Mar 21 14, 02:23
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 Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Dear Daniel,
Your response is truly magnificent - much better than the original. Now, Leo's Q puzzles me - where in this poem is there any ref to a dog or child ? I've read it throughseveral times, and missed it completely ! Love Alan ······· ······· |
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Apr 5 14, 10:25
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#7
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,596 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hey, Alan...
please forgive my lateness in responding. I've not looked into this forum for some time; I've been negligent! Leo's Q did not have anything to do with the poem; she was referring to the icon, which pictures me holding my youngest granddaughter!! deLighting in your query, Daniel
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