Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Larry]

Hay and money, synonymous, go
with the passage of time's ebb and flow
but I postulate this,
said the blinded seamstress,
to get either, you rip what you sew.

[JustDaniel]

You reek when you so chew that chaw;
you musta larned better from Ma!
Ya don't hafta wear pink
to look nice and not stink...
or just keep on, an' ya'll smell like Pa.

[Larry]

Though dispersions are cast on what's "chewed"
and the scent with which one is imbued;
something's worse, a pig sty,
redolent cigars by
an odoriferous magnitude.

[JustDaniel]

Cast dispersion upon a pig's stye?
That's like saying, here's mud in your eye
to a person who's blind;
it's darkly unkind...
and you may dis that pig who can fly!

[Larry]

A pig’s tie? Tell me where is it bought?
They can fly? Oh, I never had thought
what enables their flight
through the air like a kite.
Perhaps they are just flatulence fraught.

[Larry]

I’m naïve of this porcine cravat,
or of feathered appendage they’ve got
but in flight, I’m afraid
that their latent air raid
would surpass any tittle or jot.

[JustDaniel]

When a seagull dropped poo in his eye,
he was heard to have uttered a sigh:
I'm just glad that a cow
doesn't fly, because how
would I ever be safe? Me, oh my!

[Larry]

An umbrella may be of some use
with a pig or a cow, even moose
but if Dumbo can fly
he'd hit more than an eye.
A freight train from its front to caboose.

[Alan]

PROPOSING THE MOTION

Defecation is that human urge
on which kings, too, have been known to splurge;
to fling poop with abandon
is too "method" Brandon,
all verses on crap should be submerged.

Alan

[JustDaniel]

Verse-immersion? Has it been in vogue?
And in what do they dip them, fine rogue?
If the toilet is handy
would that then be dandy?
Burns' loo... did it have a wee brogue?

[Larry]

Although Burns wrote "Farewell" to a stream
I would doubt the "Loo" part of his theme.
If it was, I might think
it a part of "Scotch Drink"
which be-mused Robert, so it would seem.

[Alan]

HE, BURNS, IN HELL

Robert Burns was bemused, all too well;
he kept writing as "McGonagall".
His poem on Bridge Tay
just will not go away,
as poetry it's surely pure hell.

Alan

http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/gems/t...bridge-disaster

A taster - his last lines :

Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.

William McGonagall

[Larry]

You must hold Robert in low esteem
to imply that McGonagall… SCREAM…
might be one and the same
with a change of his name
thirty years after death, it would seem.

[Alan]

BONNIE RAB CLATTERS OOR WULLY

Concerning oor Wully and Robert,
this truth, my friend, I will assert :
that they are both Scots,
which impresses me lots,
Rab is main course, the other, mere dessert ....

Alan

[Larry]

Your "Wully" is a train wreck of words,
though well loved, penned some metrical herds.
If his poems were dessert
I would not want to hurt
your feelings but I'd rather have curds.

------------

I'd prefer Stevenson, even Scott
though the later did not pen a lot.
Wully's works were a mass
and much fun, but alas
must be served by the spoon not by pot.

[JustDaniel]

So we're back to the pot? It would seem
that it somehow keeps sending a beam
to our two would-be Scots
who get tied up in knots
and return to their old out-house theme!

[Larry]

It's no pot, prefixed "chamber" but "ale".
One for drink but not used to expell
excess fluid intake
from a thirst one must slake;
ascertained from the smell... Asphodel.

[JustDaniel]

I spend little time in a loo
and I keep from that bar-hoppin' too
so forgive me for missin'
you weren't thinkin' pissin'....
Here's hopin' that your skies are blue.

[Larry]

Sky's are gray and that's reality
but perception is clear as can be
for it's two decades past
since I imbibed my last
glass of anything stronger than tea.

[JustDaniel]

So it's tea that you're drinkin' down there;
I have coffee in front of me here...
and I merely re-heat
what's left; won't repeat
my trick from last night: coffee hair!