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Rondeau, Poetic Form Exercise |
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Dec 2 13, 00:00
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Lori,
Thanks for the praise and for the read. It wouldn't have happened except for Daniel's last line before his refrain. I don't know if using the last line as a lead-in to the next post is a requisite in this venue but after reading it, the idea popped into my head and the poem just came out.
Again, Thanks,
Larry
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Nov 12 14, 11:22
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori
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What does it mean?
What does it mean to please someone? Do anything to get along? or should I work to understand, befriend, and try to lend a hand? At times, the process won't be fun.
What pleases God? Look to His Son. Attend His Word; know right from wrong. What's PC? No! Seek true peace, and What does it mean?
Is there something that will atone? Can we talk on the telephone? To reconcile's no magic wand; relationships have shifting sand. Ask God to guide; don't act alone. What does it mean?
© MLee Dickens'son 2014
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Nov 17 14, 18:28
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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What Larry Saw
What Larry saw… Daniel’s request was thought, at first, to be a jest but asterisks, from one to three meant some critique was asked of me so off I ran at his behest.
“What does it mean” was not the best Rondeau he’s written, I'd have guessed; near rhyme and verse were metrically what Larry saw.
Could this be ruse or just a test from he whose tongue always caressed his cheek? I guessed it was a plea but I was wrong from “a” to “z”. My brain’s shut down for I’ve confessed what Larry saw.
S2/L2 did end with "probably"
Thanks for the heads-up Daniel.
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Nov 21 14, 14:59
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori
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What Larry saw was quite correct. It's not critique that I reject... but that my thoughts were garbled so that in this form they couldn't grow the way that readers should expect.
What I had meant won't intersect within this style, so I elect to chuck it. It could undergo what Larry saw.
Though his conception does reflect a bit of mine; I can't perfect what I had meant to say, although there's value in what my Rondeau had stumbled on. Who'll resurrect what Larry saw?
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Dec 10 14, 00:24
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,389
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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I saw the endless meanings which could be inferred with just a switch when Daniel wanted to expound on introspective thoughts. I found he wanted help. With fever pitch,
I jumped right in to scratch his itch; examining each nook and niche. To ascertain where he was bound, I saw the end
but it was not! So much more rich in nuance I construed as glitch and connotations too profound to understand. I nearly drowned! His explanations did bewitch. I saw the end.
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Jan 14 15, 14:50
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Within the swamp are brackish pools where gators wait for food and fools from towns and cities far away. Sometimes they stumble in to stay and ripen where the gator drools
but that’s not taught in any schools. With knowledge and the proper tools some folks can work or live and play within the swamp.
My friend gets rich. He and his mules go out to where bald cypress rules and finds old sunken logs which pay their weight in gold. Without decay these fallen giants are nature’s jewels within the swamp.
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Jul 2 17, 19:22
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Group: Gold Member
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Hey, Larry! Sorry I had not read your above piece somehow! Not sure what kept me away from this thread.... though perhaps it was my frustration with not being able to fit my thoughts in the piece a few entries back, within the rondeau format! Here's one that I wrote in church this morning while the minister was preaching on the subject. [It's been some time since I've done that.] I had the opportunity actually to share it at the conclusion of his message before the closing worship and praise song... which is posted for critique in Hermes: To Meet With GodTo meet with God in worship, I bow down to lift my voice and cry out, Holy Lord... I know Your rod of justice humbles me, who's flawed. Your grace is in the morning sky. I need Your Word so I'll apply it to my heart and to You fly with friends who meet, though we're too blah'd to meet with God. I say, Hello and do not lie, I'm glad to see you! But I sigh, I need some quiet to be awed...a moment just to rest my bod. I've mostly come here to draw nigh to meet with God. © MLeeDickensson 02 July 2017
during a sermon on Worship in church P.S. Larry, perhaps you could post your gator piece in Hermes as well. I'd love to comment on it. I really like it!! It's definitely NOT a croc!
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Jul 4 17, 20:29
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Shame on you Daniel. Not listening to the sermon! It is a beautiful Rondeau and perhaps was sent to you as a silent sermon from the Man upstairs.
Larry
My Home
I come here mostly to draw nigh to folks who’ll help me to apply my craft of writing poems and prose; elsewhere might do but I compose within these halls and wouldn’t try
to leave this place. I won’t say bye for friends I’ve made; some few are nigh who still remain. The rest; who knows? I come here most
and probably, until I die will write with wit though some is wry but you may like it I suppose. So everyone who visits knows this is my home. Just read and sigh! I come here most.
S2/L2 did end with: there’s lots of those
Thanks again Daniel.
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Jul 6 17, 14:16
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Group: Gold Member
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Wow, Larry!! That is one of those that we post here occasionally that deserve a wider audience. PLEASE post it in Hermes Homilies. By the way, there's no shame in my writing during the sermon. Some years ago a minister friend told me, I should just preach to you on Saturday and we could pass out your poem on Sunday to summarize what i'd have preached to them." LOL deLighting in your rondeau. Perhaps I'll have a rejoinder later. - Daniel
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Oct 26 17, 09:22
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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My Brain
My brain shut down in disbelief; I thought their muse left with a thief for no one came to crit or write a poem or prose, this was despite the members here who cause no grief.
Much like a dying tree, each leaf is special here, they all bequeath the forums where they will delight my brain.
Am I now cast on desert reef to dream of poems stacked like a sheaf and realize it is my plight to see the darkness of our night? Please share before it’s pickled beef… my brain.
S2/L2 did end: and could bedight
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Nov 7 17, 22:59
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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A Wakening
Awakening in foggy night with grey, before the dawn brings light, which chills ones soul and veils my eyes; I hear their tears as each leaf cries and falls to earth as though contrite.
Although each year it is the plight of those who fall to earth, bedight for nature rules and each one dies awakening
the cycle as the chill winds bite and bid each red and golden kite a sad goodbye. Winter applies an icy shroud of white disguise ‘til seeds of Spring begin their rite, a wakening.
S2/L2 did read: try to reach the skies
One more correction to go!
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Nov 19 17, 12:30
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God's Presence
God's presence isn't how I feel, that warmth when in the church I kneel, the sentiment that's in my poems. It's not some vision that becomes a driving force, the Spirit's seal.
Is there some reason He'd conceal Himself from me? why He'd not heal me? ... then in quiet, sudden comes God's presence.
The substance of His Word congeals; I recognize my faith is real. I see He's known me from the womb, prepares for me a Heav'nly home. Obeying Him is what reveals God's presence.
© MLee Dickens'son 2017
during a sermon on the subject
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Nov 20 17, 23:19
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,389
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Eternal Gifts
God’s presence felt when on my own is something that I’ve always known for I was raised in Christian school where I was taught the golden rule and breaking it I can’t condone.
His mercy He has ever shown and without Him I'll not atone if I forget that gracious tool; God’s presence.
When I should die and soul has flown to Heaven’s gate and it is thrown wide open and I see the cool home built for me, I know that You’ll be there to greet me as Your own; God’s presents.
S2/L2 did end with: I’m just a fool
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Jul 7 18, 17:23
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Gonna break the chain here, if you don't mind, Larry:
Dinker
He owned the neighborhood where we transplanted him to South Jersey from Florida. We'd left his sis but didn't think that he would miss her all that much, 'cause he loved me
He'd jump on anything he'd see refrigerator, bird in tree a mouse that he would give death's kiss He owned the neighborhood
One mouse had the audacity to be a warfarin causality Dink’s neck became a giant cyst but when he healed, could not resist the squirrels, the mice, a bird in tree He owned the neighborhood
© MLee Dickens’son 07 July 2018
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Jul 7 18, 22:21
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,389
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Daniel,
As noted in Hermes, S3/L1.
Seeing as how Karnak is our playground, you can break as many strings as you wish.
Larry
p.s. What "Groups" do you belong to in AP? I haven't joined one yet and am not sure how to do so.
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Jul 8 18, 04:22
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Group: Gold Member
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Thanks, Larry. Corrected... I only belong to Brevity Lovers. I dropped out of a couple of others for lack of participation. I'm also gonna find another short poem group methinks. Nice to see Doug there on the site. Have you caught up with him? (D Allen Jenkins) - deLightingly, Daniel
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Jul 9 18, 08:34
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,389
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hey Daniel, I joined Brevity Lovers and found a link to your Faux-ku string. I recognized a few but not all. Didn't find or look for Doug but I'll do so. I've been busy having to comment on two or three inane and disconnected prose offerings devoid of logical meaning for every poem I post. Of course, I can't say that at AP so I diligently search for any kind of rhyming form poetry to leave my comments. They are few and far between. It is nice to have people around though. The experiment continues.
Larry
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Sep 26 18, 18:00
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,389
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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My Neighborhood
The neighborhood where I reside is in the woods where one can hide away from fools who walk this earth. It always brings me joy and mirth; the neighborhood, a great outside.
It’s full of trees where birds abide and in the morning I can stride through small game trails, there is no dearth; the neighborhood
consists of me and my sweet bride, a dog and four grown cats that tried to scare a mother coon of girth and her new kits; now grown from birth. Our pets realize they can't divide the neighborhood!
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Dec 5 18, 16:03
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,389
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Now Grown
Now grown; from birth I never knew what to expect, what would ensue as each year passed. There was no guide on steps to take until one died. Yet, somehow, I have made it through
my life of seventy plus two but still, unsure. What must I do to know my best has been applied now grown?
Shall I, with words and deeds, imbue a testament of what is true or actions which must be applied each day? I’ll just let you decide if I have touched hearts of a few, now grown.
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Dec 22 18, 22:13
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori
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On New Year’s Eve
On New Year’s Eve we bid adieu to one more year and start anew with or without a plan to grow... or slip downhill, or just plateau. Don’t stumble on without a clue.
Let’s take the time for heart-review, resolve to fix what's gone askew. One way or other, we’ll let go on New Year’s Eve.
Millennia fade out of view with lessons learned… some thought untrue; they’re posed again so we may know Someone still cares for us below. Which course will we aim to pursue on New Year’s Eve?
© MLee Dickens'son 14 Dec 2018
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