 Upon the ebb of tide |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
 Sep 1 10, 12:07
Post
#1
|
|
 Babylonian  Posts: 66 Joined: 14-May 09 Member No.: 798 Real Name: James Carver Writer of: Poetry Referred By:poppy  |
I seek
neither glory nor fame, the ambitions of youth In shipyards lay long forgotten ships painted with rust and streaks of seagull artistry Their frames are built to carry heavy loads |
  
|
|
 |
Replies
|
Sep 7 10, 03:33
Post
#2
|
|
|
Babylonian Posts: 66 Joined: 14-May 09 Member No.: 798 Real Name: James Carver Writer of: Poetry Referred By:poppy |
thanks Jim
appreciate the feedback. I must admit, was not satisfied with "trademarks" I think your suggestion suits the piece much better. much appreciated regards james |
|
|
|
Posts in this topic
hellfire Upon the ebb of tide Sep 1 10, 12:07 
Eisa Hi - just a thought in the last stanza :
I seek
n... Sep 4 10, 06:54 hellfire thanks for the suggestion snow
making changes asa... Sep 4 10, 12:17 bombadil1247 Hi, James,
I feel some of the vocabulary choices ... Sep 5 10, 05:24 AMETHYST Hi James,
I liked this. I liked the essence of i... Sep 6 10, 02:36 
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
 |
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 17th May 2024 - 02:57 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
