Loglimerhyme, Larry Jennings' variant of Logarhyme w/ 332332 pulse meter Options

[JustDaniel]

Let your spirit now surge to the heights
as you follow your Saviour's delights
while He's sharing your load.
Look around to find ways you can share
even if you must sit on a chair
using gifts He's bestowed.

[Larry]

Using gifts He’s bestowed can be wise
if they’re used without some compromise
to improve lives you touch
but to waste precious gifts is a stain
on His book and you may just remain
left behind and in dutch.

[JustDaniel]

If you've been left behind in a ditch,
climb the bank, raise your thumb for a hitch
to the ER for aid.
When you get there it's best to report
that your friends left you there just for sport;
tell each word that they said!

[Larry]

Tell each word that they said and whose fault
brought about their untimely assault
due in part to your joke
you had pulled on your friends in the car.
They all tried your exploding cigar
and now none of them smoke.

[JustDaniel]

They don't smoke 'cause they're fearful of hell
where it smokes all the time, no Noël
Easter,Thanksgiving too.
Not my fault that they tried the cigar;
we were not s'posed to travel that far;
everything went to poo.

[Larry]

Everything went to Pooh and Eeyore
when poor Christopher Milne bought the store
and left them lots of cash
so sad Eeyore used his to buy hay
while the Pooh Bear just wanted to stay
near his new honey stash.

[JustDaniel]

There was poo near my new honey stash
where they also left mary jane ash
from a party last night;
musta really got hungry for sweets
'cause my honey's all gone, and my eats
also; it ain't polite.

[Larry]

Ain’t polite to connect are and not
for it puts northern folks on the spot
figuring what you mean.
Are you referencing a mother’s sister
or an insect whose stings make a blister
for it will cause a scene.

[JustDaniel]

An ant causes scenes when it bites,
and and aunt bruises unc when she fights,
so that ain't hard to see.
If you can't tell an aunt from an ant
then there's probably more that you can't
do, Opinion's for free!

[Larry]

Do opinions for free? Then why pay
all the pundits who must have their say
with inept expertise?
If their innuendoes and white lies
make them richer than sin, I surmise
they should stay on their knees.

[JustDaniel]

How I wish I could go to my knees
to do work 'round the house; constant pleas
for some help to do things:
find my shoes 'neath the bed or the chair,
look for others things lost who knows where,
items stuck in the springs.

[Larry]

Items stuck in the springs of the chair
or the couch might be from anywhere
but they’re lost in the crease
like the glasses and wallet I found;
one was mine but the other stays sound
‘till I call the police.

[JustDaniel]

When I called the police yesterday
I forgot what I was gonna say
so I hung up on them;
they showed up soon and broke down my door
throwing splinters all over the floor.
Found my throat full of phlegm.

[Larry]

Found my throat full of phlegm so I hacked
it all up but forgot that I lacked
means to expectorate
for the window was closed on the car
so my spit didn’t get very far
when it opened too late.

[JustDaniel]

When I opened the door kinda late
I threw up on the cop; no debate
that he did not like me.
He was stunned, and he tried to jump back
but his reflexes showed a great lack...
and I think he went pee.

[Larry]

Andy thinks he went pee on the hill
but he’s much too embarrassed to feel
for Ann would be abashed
if she saw the wet spot on his pants
so he took a prat-fall at first chance
and said that his pail splashed.

[JustDaniel]

Andy peed on his way up the hill;
it was likely from drinking Ann's swill,
but he kept that inside.
Told bystanders that his name was Jack
'cause he knew that he'd never be back.
Ann: "I'm Jill" ... an aside.

[Larry]

A numb Jill went inside to get warm
from the trip down the hill; a big storm
made Jack fall on his crown
but Jill saw where some nice jewels fell
and she slipped them in her water pail
for her next trip to town.

[JustDaniel]

If you see Jill when you are in town
let her know that you know that low-down
about taking Jack's jewels.
Jack's had nightmares e'er since while in bed
'cause the horror is still in his head;
no more pocket-pool duels.

[Larry]

No more pocket pool duels when mature
in a long married life, you’ll endure
lots of heartache and pain
but with care all your body’s tools work
and when married, you don’t want to shirk
when each hard ache’s a gain.