Visiting the Past, Stealing Nothing
The snow fell from a Christmas card. A Salvation Army bell followed me halfway down the street and a child was tugged along by a varnished red dog. Holding a hot chocolate, I realized suddenly that i was alone.
The chop house full of ice-burned faces, fur mufflers tossed over tablecloths, the air scented with burnt animal flesh.
I entered a bookstore. The going out of business sign crooked and hand lettered. 17 novels on the shelf, a dozen biographies beginning to yellow.
Maps bound with an ornamental tooling and burnished buckram. Further back, tins of camphor and bottles of shampoo, languorous when I tipped them over.
Large plants that seemed to grow a centimeter as I watched. The clock with only one hand unable to function like a man wounded in his sex.
The last flecks of snow dripped from my overcoat onto the carpet.
Nowhere was there recognition of poems you wrote for me at college or the prize you won. The trip to England where you raced over London Bridge to a lover on the docks or dined at the Gordon Ramsay restaurant inside the Claridge Hotel.
The restaurant has lost its Michelin star like the Madarin and London Assaggi that you also favored with your unpaid bills. Your rouged lips holding a cheroot, oval mouth rounded like a Saturn ring and sounding out a new lie as carefully worded as a front page editorial in the Sunday London Times.
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