Midnight Sun [revised May 20], Wizard Award Options

[bbnixon]

Hi All,

Here is one perhaps more traditional than my last, would love everyones honest opinion.

:) brenda

Midnight Sun (version 4-tweaked on 5-20-07)

Shafts of light
pour down into white.
I sup on the absence
of color.
The silver wolf and I
feel the pull of the
moon calling us.

We howl.

Its ripe face chases us
from darkness into the lake
where cool still waters
mirror ashen bark.
My hand traces its glow,
a cup of moon spills through my fingers;
Ripples of sapphire, reflection of stars.

fae skimming water.

This is my magic place-
where at the age ten and one
I answered the call of the moon;
an affair whispered in mountain winds,
baptised in crystal waters. I cover myself
in a twinkling blanket of light.

One summer solstice
I became the watcher of a world
with many suns. Orange and violet
dance across the horizon.
The sun never rests.

Breaking all the rules

Midnight Sun (version 2)-thanks Merlin-I still need some help with the "the" in S3.

I am in love with the absence
of color.
Shafts of pure light
pouring down into the white.
I feel the moons pull.
I and the silver wolf

howl.

The full moon follows us
from darkness into the lake.
Paper white bark reflects
in the still cool water.
My hand traces the moon,
a cup of moon spilling through my fingers.
Ripples of water,
reflecting stars

fae skimming water.

This is my magic place
where it all began
at the age of ten and one.
I became one with the moon
the mountains, the water and
the stars.

On the summers solstice
in this magic place
I laid atop a camper.
A world with many suns,
orange and violet dance
across the horizon.
Watching the sun never set.

Breaking all the rules


Midnight Sun

I am in love with the absence
of color
pure shafts of light
pouring down into the white
I feel the pull of the full moon
I and the silver wolf
howl

the full moon follows us,
over the darkness
into the lake
surrounded by paper white bark
reflections in the still cool water
my hand traces the moon
a cup of moon spilling through my fingers
ripples in the water
reflection of stars
fae skimming water

this is my magic place
where it all began
at the age of ten and one
I became one with the moon
the mountains,
the water and the stars

on the summers solstice
in this magic place
I laid atop the camper
across the lake,
a world with many suns
orange and violet
watching the sun never set

breaking all the rules

[Judi]

Hi All,

Here is one perhaps more traditional than my last, would love everyones honest opinion.

:) brenda

Midnight Sun (version 3-tweaked on 5-07-07)

[

Shafts of pure light
pour down into white.
I am in love with the absence
of color.
The silver wolf and I
feel the pull of the
moon calling us.

We howl.

Its ripe face chases us
from darkness into the lake
where ashen bark reflects
cool, still waters.
My hand traces its glow,
a cup of moon spills through my fingers;
Ripples on water, reflecting stars.

fae skimming water.

This is my magic place-
where at the age ten and one
I answered the call of the moon;
an affair whispered in mountain winds,
baptized in crystal waters and
covered by a blanket of stars.

One summer solstice
I became the watcher of a world
with many suns. Orange and violet
dance across the horizon.
The sun never rests.

Breaking all the rules

Midnight Sun (version 2)-thanks Merlin-I still need some help with the "the" in S3.

I am in love with the absence
of color.
Shafts of pure light
pouring down into the white.
I feel the moons pull.
I and the silver wolf

howl.

The full moon follows us
from darkness into the lake.
Paper white bark reflects
in the still cool water.
My hand traces the moon,
a cup of moon spilling through my fingers.
Ripples of water,
reflecting stars

fae skimming water.

This is my magic place
where it all began
at the age of ten and one.
I became one with the moon
the mountains, the water and
the stars.

On the summers solstice
in this magic place
I laid atop a camper.
A world with many suns,
orange and violet dance
across the horizon.
Watching the sun never set.

Breaking all the rules


Midnight Sun

I am in love with the absence
of color
pure shafts of light
pouring down into the white
I feel the pull of the full moon
I and the silver wolf
howl

the full moon follows us,
over the darkness
into the lake
surrounded by paper white bark
reflections in the still cool water
my hand traces the moon
a cup of moon spilling through my fingers
ripples in the water
reflection of stars
fae skimming water

this is my magic place
where it all began
at the age of ten and one
I became one with the moon
the mountains,
the water and the stars

on the summers solstice
in this magic place
I laid atop the camper
across the lake,
a world with many suns
orange and violet
watching the sun never set

breaking all the rules

Hi Beebe,
I only saw a few things I thought would make it a little better, but let me first say that your writing is wonderful. I went to your "Poem a day" in your blog and thoroughly enjoyed each and every poem there.

Here are those few thoughts I had about this poem

I am in love with the absence
of color.
Shafts of pure light
pouring down into the white.
I feel the moons pull.
I and the silver wolf

howl.

The full moon follows us
from darkness into the lake.
Paper white bark reflects
in {the} still cool water.
My hand traces the moon,
a cup of moon spilling through my fingers.
Ripples of water,
reflecting stars

fae skimming water.

This is my magic place
where it all began
at the age of ten and one.
I became one with the moon
{the} mountains, {the} water and
the stars.

(Maybe a slight change here)

On the summers solstice
in this magic place
I laid atop a camper
and saw a world with
many suns, orange
and violet dance across
the horizon.
I watched the sun never set

As I said, the changes are minute, but these did catch my eye. Hope to read a lot more or your poetry! Judi