THE NUN'S STORY, ADAPTATION OF A CHALLENGE PIECE FOR CRIT Options

[Cybele]

THE NUN’S STORY


Beyond the gate a tempting glimpse
of verdant pastures and rippling streams,
kept alive the spark of hope that
filled my heart and lit my dreams.

I chose this life while still a child
to serve the Lord with constancy,
but age and illness killed the spark
of faith that once was bright in me.

Just three are left within these walls
and I am bound by vows and duty.
I must remain until I die
so I will turn my back on beauty.

I’ve watched my sisters one by one
slide into illness and to death.
No grave is marked to prove they lived
and served the Lord with every breath.

Locked into silence we make our way
to chapel from refectory,
with painful steps and halting gait
to hear His benedictory.

But in my cell in dead of night
my mind returns to childhood days.
when I was free and bathed in streams,
and wandered through His verdant ways.

(All rights reserved by Grace Galton as an unpublished work)

[Cybele]

Hi Merlin,

Often when I was writing exams featuring multiple choice, there was "none of the above". Dunno if this is the one!

I have tried very hard, but I am afraid I can't understand this, but maybe that's just me. Could you elucidate for me please Merlin?

As I haven't read thru all the other comments, I may be repeating or not -
I'm wondering if you could be convinced to dump some of that verdant greenery. I know certain writers who will not use that word, since it's become somewhat cliché or hackneyed. Other descriptives would be well placed, as in the first case - something that compliments the rippling stream, like a rolling pasture. You'd have rip & roll then.

Oh, I don't think verdant greenery is that clichéd Merlin, well not over this side of the pond anyway.

The reason for the repetition is because it figured very strongly in her childhood and is now dwelling on her mind as she ages in the convent. The conjured up memory gives her comfort so I feel the duplication is legitimate.

The final verdant relating to Him - He ought not be too green in what He's doing at this point.

???

I really would be interested in understanding what your first and last comments meant Merlin. I really do welcome sound critique.

All in all, a nice story-poem.

Thank you veyr much.