Wheels of Change [ Revision #1 ], a Revolutionary Rondeau Options

[JustDaniel]

Wheels of Change

A smouldering... a charcoal fire
that heats great iron hoops for tires
to ring the wheelwright's oaken spokes
on circled pine, for working folks
to move with freedom — their desire.

Their taxing load, it seems, inspires
new ways of commerce and requires
a new restraint, a gentler yoke —
a smoldering.

Wheels turn. Some gentry now admire
their revolution, yet the ire
of governance will steep, provoke
still more rebellion as he soaks
them... takes a powder... leaves his pyre
a-smolderin'.

© MLee Dickens'son 18 July 2006

at the wheelwright’s shop in Williamsburg, VA
near the Colonial Governor’s Palace.

Original

A smoldering, a charcoal fire
that heats great iron hoops for tires
to ring the wheelwright's oaken spokes
on circled pine, for working folks
to move with freedom — their desire.

Their taxing load, it seems, inspires
new ways of commerce and requires
a new restraint, a gentler yoke
— a smoldering.

Wheels turn. Some gentry now admire
their revolution, yet the ire
of governance would soon invoke
new fear, tea-off his subjects, soak
them, take a powder, leave his pyre
a-smoldering.

[Guest_e h estry_*]

The refrain, a smoldering, is nicely effective in capturing the feelings of the time.
Might seem a little abstruse, but if you had started with the British English spelling "smouldering" and finished with the American English spelling...
Loved the connection with wheels turning and revolution and the clever "tea-off" (as a Brit I must say if we hadn't put a duty on it, I might not have needed that green card !).
A very well done rondeau !

[JustDaniel]

The refrain, a smoldering, is nicely effective in capturing the feelings of the time.
Might seem a little abstruse, but if you had started with the British English spelling "smouldering" and finished with the American English spelling...
Loved the connection with wheels turning and revolution and the clever "tea-off" (as a Brit I must say if we hadn't put a duty on it, I might not have needed that green card !).
A very well done rondeau !

Thanks for the excellent suggestion. I've taken it, and also modified the closing to smolderin' for the ad hoc nature of the evolution of the Revolution.

I regret to have to leave out the 'tea off', taking wisdom from others' reactions.

appreciating your comments, Daniel