Musical Seduction :sunny: Options

[Guest_Nina_*]

Musical Seduction   (revised)

Crystal-pure notes,
filtered on zephyrs,
swirl through
sun-dappled trees.

Mesmerising melody
entices me, unresisting,
into forest’s secret glade.

Tendrils of harmony
coil around my being;
draw me into your arms;
weave a shared destiny.

As music spins enchantment,
we spiral upwards:
an inter-twined,
shimmering presence,
whirling into infinity.




----------------------------
Musical Seduction (original)

Crystal-pure notes,
carried on the breeze,
swirl through
sun-dappled trees.

Mesmerising melody
entices me, unresisting,
into forest’s secret glade.

Tendrils of harmony
coil around my being;
draw me into your arms;
weave a shared destiny.

As music spins enchantment,
we spiral upwards:
an inter-twined,
shimmering presence,
whirling into infinity.

© Nina  2006

Nina

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Nina,

carried on the breeze, (Cliche - and rhymes with "trees")

Mesmerising melody (Good allit)
into forest’s secret glade. (v evocative)

coil around my being; (v clever)

Nina, this is a very romantic piece which uses clever woodland metaphores - it reminds me that Shakespeare set romances in forests.

I could pick almost any line for singling-out as very well written etc - but have highlighted just a few.

A most enjoyable read, thank you.

J.