deleted at author's request, Short story Options

[Guest_Andrew_*]

deleted at author's request

[Guest_ZaoShang_*]

This story must be published by now, and I really hope it is, or at least accepted. It's very well written; you're obviously an experienced writer. The amounts of description, dialogue, and reflection are very well balanced. Your style is well polished and pleasant.

a dull, grey form always sitting right in front of me

-an excellent metaphor to depict depression

that I was not, under any circumstances, to touch

-for some reason, I'd prefer you didn't remind me that; I already knew it.

what could be more claustrophobic than one's own mind?

-I was intrigued to read that because I myself feel comfortable enough with my own mind. But now that I've read the whole story, I feel that it describes perfectly the theme.

I was hooked in every moment of the reading. You managed very well the conflict. I enjoyed the way the italicised sentences emphasised the tension. It was some sort of mystical experience, like talking with an oracle or a god.

In my reading, the character's anxiety ('the doctor promised) became legitimate with the question 'If you're finished'. As if he had the choice to go on with the 'game' indefinitely...

I didn't think right away that he had murdered his father. Yet, from the computer's questions, I understood that he was being tested for some anti-social behaviour. So Jox's hypothesis makes sense to me.

Excellent story. Well done!