deleted at author's request, Short story Options

[Guest_Andrew_*]

deleted at author's request

[Guest_Andrew_*]

Hello everyone,

Wow.  I've been away for a few days and I'm stunned to get back to so many responses here.  Thank you all.  

As a general comment, I'm looking for heavy, pedantic, brutal reviews.  I don't have much by way of a formal background in writing, so all advice and criticism is going to be really important to me.  And of course, I don't actually *know* any of you either, so it hardly matters how much I hate your guts.... Ahem.

In a way, I've cheated a bit by posting this story first.  I've had it kicking around for a while now and so it's been revised a good few times and is more polished than a lot of my stuff.  Jox, you've made some fantastically useful comments - things that I'd never have spotted after so many reads of my own, but that are so obvious when you point them out.  I owe you one.
Cheers also Fran... I see your point regarding the naming thing, and I think I probably agree.  I'll certainly give it some thought.  (Jox, Linklaus is just the surname of a singer in a band I was listening to at the time - it sounded good, but I can't claim there's much more to it than that...)
And, finally, yes, the references to the character's history were indeed deliberately ambiguous... I'm pleased this came across.

I'd really like to offer my own thoughts on your work - but looking down the list I'm not really sure which bits of work are most appropriate, or of current interest?  Maybe it's easiest to PM me and I'll take a look at whatever you suggest?

All the best,
Andrew.