Odd Socks Options

[Guest_Nina_*]

Odd Socks (revised)

A pair of odd socks
tucked in a drawer:
one blue,
one black flecked with white;
long ill-matched;
hidden in darkness,
never proudly displayed.

I should separate them;
initiate search for their mates.
Yet something stops me -
fear of change?
loneliness worries?
habit?

I’ve grown used to them paired,
so they lie
folded together;
one blue,
one black  flecked with white;
growing old
trapped.


-------------------------------------
Odd Socks (original)

A pair of odd socks
tucked in a drawer:
one blue,
one black, flecked with white;
ill-matched for so long;
hiding in darkness
never proudly displayed.

I should separate them;
initiate search for their mate.
Yet something stops me -
fear for change?
thoughts of loneliness?
habit?

I’ve grown used to seeing them paired,
so there they lie
folded together;
one blue,
one black, flecked with white;
gathering dust,
growing old.

[Guest__*]

Dear Nina,

Silly me, I read this as about odd socks, until other crits and your answers opened my eyes, and I like what I now see. One or two offerings to give you alt ideas, in case any take your fancy :

A pair of odd socks -- Odd socks, paired ?
tucked in a drawer:
one blue,
one black, flecked with white; -- no need for comma ?
ill-matched for so long; -- too long ?
hiding in darkness -- hidden ? add comma
never proudly displayed.

I should separate them; -- They should be separated ?
initiate search for their mate. -- mate-search initiated ?
Yet something stops me - stops this ?
fear for change?
thoughts of loneliness? -- poss Cap these line starts ?, or use ;;; ?
habit?

I’ve grown used to seeing them paired, They've grown used ... ?
so there they lie -- agree del "lie"
folded together;
one blue,
one black, flecked with white;
gathering dust,
growing old.

Poss last 2 lines :

gathering dust
and old habits ?

Nina, you'll note I've suggested removing the "I" from the tale - how does this read with you ? "I" seems an irrelevance, except as observer ?

Love
Alan