AGING GRACEFULLY, Wizard Award Winner Options

[Cybele]

Here you go James, crit away!


[b]REVISIONS IN ITALICS



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AGING GRACEFULLY



I’m past me sell-by date, I know;
Me steps don’t spring,
Me cheeks don’t glow
and I have noticed every day
me toes are getting farther away
when I try to touch ‘em.

But I can choose the clothes I wear
from market stalls
~ and who would care?
Me navel piercing looks its best
beneath me lovely thermal vest
when chill  winds  blow.

Me stockings and me lacy garters
no longer grace me lower quarters,
But rest in drawers in bright arrays.
reminders of me past hey-days
as a dolly bird.

Me hot pants and me knee-high boots
peroxide hair with its darker roots,
are now remembered with deep affection
along with me favourite Abba collection
in stereo on 45s.

Still in me heart there burns a fire
of girlish glee and sweet desire’
and love of life at any stage,
increased with every turning page
of me five year diary.


(All rights reserved by Grace Galton as an unpublished poem)



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[Cybele]

Good morning Ron,

Have just returned from Spain and seen your reply. Many thanks for visiting and commenting.

Dear Grace,

I suspected your verse couldn't be improved much!

Thank you Ron

In case you'd appreciate language differences caused by the Atlantic Ocean- sorta like evolution on two far distant islands:

I certainly would appreciate it Ron, I love to learn anything to do with words.  

We might hyphenate sell-by

Do you know what Ron ~ so would we.  My mistake,    thank you I shall scuttle off shortly to change that.

"Getting further/farther away" is easily understandable and as yours is light verse, wholly adequate.

You are quite right Ron. it should be farther indicating 'more distant' rather than further indicating 'extended'. I have changed it because it looks and sound better.

"Lacy garters/grace me lower quarters" here would bring down the house. I'd say "brill" but since I only learned that term a few weeks ago...


"A dolly bird"- love it!- I'm too old now to know that the youngsters say- sweet young thing sounds awfully dated

Dolly bird was invented in the sixties Ron and applied to young ladies of fashion (specifically those wearing baby doll dresses ~ (thigh high and very full and girly ~ or hot pants ~ minute shorts with sheer tights and knee high white boots.)

"Girlish glee and sweet desire,- just enough alliteration to let us know you've mastered it and to force a smile

Thank you Ron


(That's as far as Arnie went)

As to cockney, I think of it as the equivalent of Brooklynese (a suburb
of NYCity). THeir language reflected their thinking process, it's where the real people live. Brooklyn was where the baseball Dodgers played, where Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier.
If you ever get to the states, do visit Brooklyn.
Stanley Halloway played Alfred Doolittle in "My Fair Lady".
Your ditty is a salute to humanity!
Cheers,    jgd

I am so pleased, that as an American you could enjoy the touch of Cockney and it's comparision to Brooklynese.

I believe that they pronounce New Jersey as Noo Joysie, is that right? I love accents of all types.

Thank you Ron for your input and for finding a couple of corrections for me to make. It is much appreciated.