Malice Un-forethought, Wizard Award ~ A poem Options

[Guest_Jox_*]

© James Oxenholme, 2005. I, James Oxenholme, do assert my right to be identified as the author of this work in accordance with Sections 77 and 78 of The Copyrights, Designs And Patents Act, 1988. (Laws of Cymru & England, as recognised by international treaties). This work was simultaneously copyrighted in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and the United States of America. This work is posted as an unpublished work in order to elicit critical assistance and other helpful comment, only.

Ref: TC 0359 AD (Thanks, Fran, Dani, Nina and Alan )


*Graphic provided by
Celtic Castle Designs

Malice Un-forethought
by TC

Prometheus, a modern man,
forged in heat and fire:
a hundred-thousand volts
powered his electric birth.

I shall call you St. Norme:
You shall have a saintly future;
a normality for all humankind.

Limbs working; voice talking,
he strode across the land.
A man of parts lived in him,
yet he only existed in them.

Yearned to be whole:
as the race from which
he’d been forged.

Though people shun
such different men:
at best to be ignored.

Asylum denied.
Dejected, he turned to his God:
Why have you rejected me?

The good doctor, gone bad,
could only weep:
You are a race apart;
different: a threat.

So St. Norme turned:
he fought against all.
Love, companionship denied:
others’ lives, liberty he took.

From conception, he had
no chance; no future.
He changed his ways, his name
to become what they made him.

Hope begat misery;
desire begat slavery;
destiny begat tyranny.

St. Norme begat the Monster.

(end)

=========================================
TC 0359 AC

Malice Un-forethought
by TC

Prometheus, a modern man
forged in heat and fire:
a hundred-thousand volts
powered his electric birth.

I shall call you St. Norme:
You shall have a saintly future;
a normality for all humankind.

Limbs working; voice talking,
he strode across the land.
A man of parts, lived in him,
yet he only existed in them.

Yearned to be whole;
of the race from
whence he’d been forged.

Though people shun
such different men:
at best to be ignored.

Asylum denied, dejected
he turned, to his God:
Why have you rejected me?

The good doctor, gone bad,
could only weep:
You are a race apart;
different: a threat.

So St. Norme turned:
against all he fought.
Love, companionship denied:
others’ life, liberty he took.

From inception, he had
no chance; no future.
He changed his ways, his name
to become what they made him.

Hope begat misery;
desire begat slavery;
destiny begat tyranny.

St. Norme begat the Monster.

(end)

====================================

NB: "The Modern Prometheus" is the sub-title of the gothic horror novel, "Frankenstein" by Mary Shelley - which bears little relationship in its portrayal of the Monster to most films (save Kenneth Brannagh's).

NB2: the original Prometheus was the chap who stole fire (amongst other things) from the Greek gods and gave it to mankind. They were rather hacked-off by his behaviour.

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[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Fran,

I’m back to answer your extensive and kind crit.

>>I've just been away for the weekend, so I'm not sure my brain is working again yet, so excuse my efforts as I try to crit

Heck, lass, I’d be reet chuffed if my brain, at full power, worked that well.

Malice Un-forethought

>>A very interesting twist in the title. Evil by accident.

Thank you - yes, my intention.

Prometheus, a modern man

>>I Googled to check my vague memories of Prometheus and found that according to Greek legend he created mankind, and passed on the knowledge of the gods to them, including fire. He locked all their ills in a box, which Pandora then opened.

Thank you for taking that amount of trouble. Yes, that is the original chap, indeed. He was not popular with Zeus et al for passing-on the secrets.

>>So here you have a 'modern' Prometheus, who is a man, not a god?

The classic gothic horror novel, Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein,” is sub-titled “The Modern Prometheus”

forged in heat and fire:
a hundred-thousand volts
powered his electric birth.

>>This is a little confusing, but I presume the birth isn't 'his': it is the birth of whatever he is creating. Frankenstein and Prometheus? (Sounds like a 40s Hammer Horror - 'Frankenstein meets Prometheus' ... ahem, sorry - brain not behaving)

WOW!!! By jove she has it (without knowing that sub-title) and you say your brain’s NOT working???

Hammer Horrors were 1950s/60s - don’t make me feel too old- I loved them as a child and still do.

I did mean the birth to be his - the Monster’s. The good Dr - who pops up below - is Dr Frankenstein. But I think you certainly have the essence,

I shall call you St. Norme:
You shall have a saintly future;
a normality for all humankind.

>>Normality? Makes me think of stats and 'normal' distributions of a population. So St. Norme is the perfect average?

ST Norme - I think he was meant to be. Meant to blend-in. Didn’t work that way.

The normality aspect was because we seem to adulate normality (any adulation of non-normality is either taking to pee or patronising). In terms of statistics I can see the shape of the curve but I don’t think Franky’s Monster was that attractive!

>>I think I may have gone off at a tangent (to use another mathematical metaphor, lol)

LOL!

The Head of Stats at where I worked always insisted most strongly that Stats was not Mathematics. (The Head of Maths agreed) but I don’t know if that division would hold sway elsewhere!

Limbs working; voice talking,
he strode across the land.
A man of parts, lived in him,
yet he only existed in them.

>>So he is 'alive' yet only thru the men who are compositely him? (Sure I could word that better ...  )

That is about right. I hoped to bring-out our fears of cloning and genetic research here - much as Mary Shelley did back then.

Yearned to be whole;
of the race from
whence he’d been forged.

>>So he is missing something ... the extremes? (following my interpretation ... ) and now we have 'race' mentioned, but is that as in races, or the 'human race' ?

Human race, yes.  He’s missing lots of things (!) Good looks - a passport to success; ability to blend-in etc etc. He is extreme, yes.

Though people shun
such different men:
at best to be ignored.

>>'Such' men  - a composite, perfect, like St Norme? Or the 'race' from which he was forged - could mean either.  But I think you mean St Norme?

He was meant to be a composite perfect (what a brill phrase!) but it all went wrong. You’re right, therefore, I did mean St.N.

Asylum denied, dejected
he turned, to his God:
Why have you rejected me?

>>Very biblical, and very modern (asylum) - a fantastic juxtaposition - brill verse

Thanks! Yes, both of your comments do reflect my intentions. Thank you.

The good doctor, gone bad,
could only weep:
You are a race apart;
different: a threat.

>>And now it is too late - the Dr repents, but cannot undo his mistakes?

You understand me 100% here. I’m really sorry for you.

So St. Norme turned:
against all he fought.
Love, companionship denied:
others’ life, liberty he took.

From inception, he had
no chance; no future.
He changed his ways, his name
to become what they made him.

>>Give a dog a bad name ...

Another 100%er. Yes, I sometimes wonder, if we kick a child today, will he nuke us tomorrow?

Hope begat misery;
desire begat slavery;
destiny begat tyranny.

St. Norme begat the Monster.

>>Even the most normal/'perfect' person can be forced into monstrosity by society?

YES! The Monster started out reasonably enough but if society spurns him...

>>Besides, what is normal in one group is not in another - so merely re-locate and it can happen?

Yes, that was one of the implications (asylum etc). Fear of all outsiders - gays, different colours, handicaps, short, tall, fat, thin, eccentric... etc etc. (I was also partially thinking of Hitler as being the Monster here - and victimising so many groups).

>>James, I really enjoy critting your poems cos no matter how far-fetched the crits ramble you are happy to consider the interpretations and discuss them (note - I am squirming, hoping I am not too way off the mark with this, as I have let my imagination fly)

I thanked you for this before Fran - but I’m so delighted, I’ll thank you again. Thank you.

And thanks for all your hard work and brilliant perceptiveness. I would (as you indicate) have been fascinated, had you had different interpretations. However, on this occasion, you seem to have taken my meanings almost perfectly -  poor lass, very very sorry!

Thanks J.