Voice in the Dark, a LogaRhyme Options

[JustDaniel]

Voice in the Dark

I’m feeling He’s abandoned me;
a spiral down won’t set me free...
I need to cling,
remembering, when I’ve no sight,
the things He’s shown me in the light...
in darkness, sing.

“How can you sing!” a voice may blare.
“It’s obvious He doesn’t care;
just face the facts.”
Amid the drone of dark despair,
a still, small Voice is always there;
on this I act.

God is near the broken-hearted,
hears before a prayer is started...
been there too...
near the one whose spirit’s crushed;
“I’ll never leave you.”  List now… hushed...
He cries with you.

© Daniel J Ricketts 03 Feb 2005
Psalm 34:18

[JustDaniel]

This delivers a fine message to fit the form very well....
easily grasped and smoothly executed.
my only nit would be that in S3, L2 reads awkwardly to me.
hears before a prayer is started...
How about...
"hears each prayer before it's stated"

I enjoyed this poetic wisdom.
sue

I think you may be right, Susan.  I think the words that I chose were exactly those of the person speaking on this passage, so I may have adopted them verbatim; I'm not sure.  You know how it is once you have a pattern of words fixed in your mind... that make perfect sense to you, since you know what they mean... and you lose objectivity about their communication when you write them down!  I'll ponder this for sure for my soon-coming revision. The meaning of both phrases is essentially the same, so let me consider the emphases of each.

appreciative always of your Light, Daniel