Voice in the Dark, a LogaRhyme Options

[JustDaniel]

Voice in the Dark

I’m feeling He’s abandoned me;
a spiral down won’t set me free...
I need to cling,
remembering, when I’ve no sight,
the things He’s shown me in the light...
in darkness, sing.

“How can you sing!” a voice may blare.
“It’s obvious He doesn’t care;
just face the facts.”
Amid the drone of dark despair,
a still, small Voice is always there;
on this I act.

God is near the broken-hearted,
hears before a prayer is started...
been there too...
near the one whose spirit’s crushed;
“I’ll never leave you.”  List now… hushed...
He cries with you.

© Daniel J Ricketts 03 Feb 2005
Psalm 34:18

[JustDaniel]

You have me foxed. What is a logarhyme?

[ LogaRhyme was 'invented' last year by one Keith Logan in another site, and I've come to love it.  It can be used for frivolous subject matter much as a limerick can, or it can be quite majestic.  The change in pace within the framework of its form can be very useful, methinks.

Basicially, it is a piece written with as many stanzas as desired, USUALLY in iambic tetrameter (IT - four daDUMs) and iambic dimeter (ID - two daDUMS), with a rhyme pattern aabccb, with the a and c lines in IT, and the b lines in ID. ]

I only know this is very beautiful and touching.

God is near the broken-hearted,
hears before a prayer is started...
been there too...
near the one whose spirit’s crushed;
“I’ll never leave you.”  List now… hushed...
He cries with you.

L1/2 Wonderful!!

L5  "I'll never leave you." List now- hush ? (To keep the present tense?)

[ I'm trying to 'admonish' the subject of the poem to LISTEN to what is in a hushed voice... the crying (for us).  Perhaps I should simply say "Hear" for "List"? ]

Loved the read Daniel

Hi, Grace!  

Thank you SO much for for your helpful suggestions... as always.  I sense that that particular line is simply not clear yet, and I'd appreciate ANYONE's thoughts on it!

always appreciating others' Light, Daniel