Why, Night? Options

[Guest_blondie_*]

Why, Night?

Why, night,
must you entrap me
with your sickening hug
of coldness
as I cry?
Why, night,
do you hold me
in your ghastly grip
of loneliness?
Your touch has failed me,
holding no comfort.
Release me,
for I want you
no more.
I would rather grasp
his frigid hand
and wipe away
my own tears.

[Guest_Tao_*]

Amy,

Dear, dear, still suffering, you sweet...that's three poems in a row, torches in the black field of lost love! 'Fraid even the answering machine's no use against the cold night (from prior conversation). :(

I read this a long, long time ago:

For if she will, she will; you can depend it.
But if she won't, she won't; so there's an end on it.

Substitute "he" for she and see if that helps?

Now back to poetry. I agree with Kevin, the "...no more." ending would be even more powerful. I sensed the emotions, the pain, raw but boiling up to those lines and "No More!" a final release that blows off the lid. Your first phrases had already run daggers into reader's hearts - the rest, they'll have to suffer in their imagination, alone! :)

Just my 2 cents, be well...ouch, I'm still hurting. Now where did that dagger go?

David