A Mortician’s “Somber” Reflections **, Free-verse Options

[Ali zonak]

A Mortician’s “Somber” Reflections **

Cradle to grave, the destiny of man
is one from which there’s no escape
Born he was without teeth in his gums,
now it is the tooth of time that tears and gnaws.

Aging gracefully? Oh, such fleeting dream;
man finds himself a prisoner of old age.
Dogs may grow old without showing their age--
some ancient ones still run, but this one lies still.

Look--this shadow of man, once stout, his legs
are withered, stiff; the skin hangs loose
and saggy like that of a plucked goose;
his neck would be too weak to hold the head erect.

Once he was a youth with a full head of hair,
but now, one finds only one or two, maybe here
or there, not worthy of clippers and shears--
except for those bristles in nose and ear.
Well--at last he is beyond all earthly care,
yet I serve him by doing what I do best--
Hot diggity dang! Doesn't that guy looks great?

[JustDaniel]

Dear Ali

Please click on this thread: Short Rondeau

You'll discover that it is a SPECIFIC variation on the rondeau. One of the characteristics of the rondeau, however is the repetition of a segment of the initial part of the opening line... at the end of stanza two and stanza three. In the Short Rondeau, however, that repetition is always the LAST LINE. You'll also discover that it is only eight lines long.

You've written a fine poem there in Karnak. Though you do have repetition of much of the first line, it is the beginning of the line that is to be repeated. That is what gives a rondeau its bite.

Another matter. Larry CLEARLY told you that Karnak is NOT the place for CRITIQUE. We suggested, and still suggest that you post it in Hermes Homilies . That's where form and rhyming poems get critiqued. We did not answer some of your questions, because that's where they get answered. Please post it there, will you?

deLighting at the prospect of your remaining, Daniel