Request, Sonnet from a picture challenge Options

[Larry]

 UNICORN_AND_MOON.jpg ( 322.7K ) Number of downloads: 1





Request

With great respect he asked once more, “How long
must we remain within this realm?” A tear
now etched its lonely path; he felt it wrong
to dwell where everything which once was dear

to creatures such as he. The elf and gnome
stayed hidden in dense forest or dark cave
while dragons and fierce griffons made their home
in lofty mountain holds. None dared to brave

the eyes of man. Not so in ancient days
when innocence had reigned; all lived in peace
and harmony. Mankind had changed their ways
and so the Unicorn pled for release.

His answer came; “Stay for a little while!”
said Luna with her bright familiar smile.

[JustDaniel]

Greetings, Larry.

Another beautiful, touching sonnet, my friend. Excellent use of your enjambment. You certainly utilized it in abundance here! I deeply grieve my not having the time yet to focus on writing, but I'll be back eventually to have you challenge me on again.

I only have one nit to suggest to you, as to grammar. In S2L1 I believe your "him" should be "he". If "him" were the direct object of the preposition "to", which it is not, you'd be correct. But I think it's rather "as he (is/was)", if I'm not mistaken.

As always, simply take it into consideration or charge on... er, no, stay for awhile!

deLightingly, Daniel