Maneuvers (Revision2) Options

[RC James]

In the front yard of the small hacienda
three couples swing to the Sonidero,
their rhythmic evening cure.

At the mezcal table, downed bottles
in disarray, literary vaqueros revive,
with elan, their grandfathers’ stanzas.

A wispy woman, downplaying arrogance,
stuns the gathering’s hum-drum thought,
moves to the dancers, all intent on conquest;
her stride holds dark rhythms, rebellion.

In the last blush of light, as if expected,
Zapata appears with spurs jangling,
white horse at the gate.

He bows.

The elusive lady dances to history,
in homage to what might have been.

Revolution possesses the general;
inexhaustible, he senses victory.






(orig.)
In the front yard
three couples swing to the cure
of the Sonidero.
At the mezcal table
literary vaqueros testify
to their grandfathers' truths.

A wispy-thin woman
stuns hum-drum thought
as she approaches the dancers,
seduced by dark rhythms,
her movements deft rebellion.

In the last blush of light
Zapata's fantasma appears,
spurs jangling,
white horse at the gate.
He bows, she dances for history
as we wish we'd known it.

[greenwich]

Very enjoyable, confident poem I enjoyed the pace and nod to history. I would have liked mention of more colours maybe "last blush of blue light" etc
The ability to highlight movement and legend is pleasing as is the economy of the poem