PAST MORTAL KEN, *** Sonnet in Iambic tet Options

[Thoth]

The tour is far, the route adverse
our quests beset with balk and woe.
Most outcomes of our toil obverse
and greed shall tax what seed we sow.
Today, great rivers test our mind
that desert plains tomorrow be
lush pastures vast and unconfined;
more fertile than the plundered sea.

Tomorrow’s walls we need transcend
should man aspire to touch the stars;
at cost mere kings can’t comprehend,
untranquil mist our wisdom bars . . .
Whilst dreams yet dreams may long remain,
we’ll dream our God-games just the same.

Edit 1







This sonnet peeps into mankind’s indomitable will to master his environment at all cost, against adversity and setback. Although the wisdom of such endeavors could at times be questionable, without dreams we are nothing.


Copyright WW Schwim 22 July 2014

[Larry]

Hi Wally,

Glad to see you back and posting once more. Winters always get me down too.

Here are a few suggestions to TOT. They probably won't improve your philosophical musings but
I thought I'd toss my two cents in anyway.

The tour is far, the route adverse
our quests beset with balk and woe.
Most outcome of our toil obverse
(from plural “quests” to singular outcome/toil)
also (I see the usage of “obverse” depicts opposite results from what was desired… I think)

(Perhaps: Most outcomes of our toils obverse)
I also thought of:
(Most outcomes of our toils immerse
in greed and tax what seed we sow.)
and greed shall tax that seed we sow.
Today, great rivers test our mind
that desert plains tomorrow be
lush pastures vast and unconfined;
more fertile than the plundered sea.


Tomorrow’s walls we need transcend,
should man aspire to touch the stars
at cost mere kings can’t comprehend
untranquil mist our wisdom bars . . .(untranquil…? “a roiling mist our wisdom bars…)
Whilst dreams yet dreams may long remain,
we’ll dream our God-games just the same.

Without our dreams, there would be no accomplishments.

Larry