PAST MORTAL KEN, *** Sonnet in Iambic tet Options

[Thoth]

The tour is far, the route adverse
our quests beset with balk and woe.
Most outcomes of our toil obverse
and greed shall tax what seed we sow.
Today, great rivers test our mind
that desert plains tomorrow be
lush pastures vast and unconfined;
more fertile than the plundered sea.

Tomorrow’s walls we need transcend
should man aspire to touch the stars;
at cost mere kings can’t comprehend,
untranquil mist our wisdom bars . . .
Whilst dreams yet dreams may long remain,
we’ll dream our God-games just the same.

Edit 1







This sonnet peeps into mankind’s indomitable will to master his environment at all cost, against adversity and setback. Although the wisdom of such endeavors could at times be questionable, without dreams we are nothing.


Copyright WW Schwim 22 July 2014

[Thoth]

Hey Jerry

Thanks for stopping by to read. Your comment is absolutely valid and even before I saw it, had already made some changes for clarity. I wrote this piece early this morning while still in bed (Its mid winter here) so I expect it to mature by the time spring arrives.
I added a note below to assist readers align their thoughts. Personally I struggle to follow some philosophical classics.

Hope it is a bit more comprehensible now.

Cheers

Wal

[jerryk]

Hey Jerry

Thanks for stopping by to read. Your comment is absolutely valid and even before I saw it, had already made some changes for clarity. I wrote this piece early this morning while still in bed (Its mid winter here) so I expect it to mature by the time spring arrives.
I added a note below to assist readers align their thoughts. Personally I struggle to follow some philosophical classics.

Hope it is a bit more comprehensible now.

Cheers

Wal

Hi there, Wal;
great rewrite!! And thanks for the explanatory note that confirms the mental image I had formed. I admire a poet who will undergo the tedious labor involved in rewriting his poetry.
I have no nits at all, Wal. Excellent sonnet. About the field of philosophy . . . lol. One of my great heroes is Nietzsche--probably because I wear his style of mustache. Mid-winter you say? Well, it's barely mid-summer here in Arizona and today's temperature is going to soar up to 115 F. Is it any wonder my brain is parboiled? See you soon,
Jerry