Upon the ebb of tide Options

[hellfire]

I seek
neither glory nor fame,
the ambitions of youth

In shipyards lay
long forgotten ships
painted with rust
and streaks
of seagull artistry

Their frames
are built
to carry heavy loads

[Guest_bombadil1247_*]

Hi, James,

I feel some of the vocabulary choices let this down a little, but a few judicious changes could help it to sparkle.

I seek
neither glory nor fame,
the trademarks of youth

I have problems with 'trademarks' here; the seeking is the trademark imo and better choices would include talismans/ambitions/targets or some similar word.

In shipyards lay
long forgotten ships
painted with rust
and streaks
of seagull artistry

In l.1, I would have used 'lie' rather than 'lay' but that is just a personal preference, not a nit per se. My real concern is with the 'seagull artistry'; I know exactly what you mean, just feel there is a better way of saying it, perhaps 'seagull-tagged graffitti' or similar?

Their frames
are built
to carry heavy loads

It's 'heavy' here that gives me pause since it doesn't really contribute anything; if you used the comparative 'heavier' it can refer back to the rust/graffitti and the glory/fame lines.

Just my thoughts of course, yours to use or lose as usual,
Jim