Not Alone *** Revised, Villanelle Options

[Michelle]

Not Alone - Revised

My time is not my own
when siblings seek a hand.
I値l never be alone.

Our children always moan
for needs and wants expand;
my time is not my own.

My husband takes his throne,
his wish is my command:
I値l never be alone.

I use a soothing tone;
as Mother痴 wits disband.
My time is not my own

when friends decide to phone.
A party urged and planned:
I値l never be alone.


God痴 plan, once dim, now shown;
He gives where life demands.
My time is not my own--
I値l never be alone.




Not Alone

My time is not my own
when siblings seek a hand;
I値l never be alone.

The children always moan.
Their needs and wants expand.
My time is not my own.

My husband wears cologne;
we dance beside the band.
I値l never be alone.

I use a soothing tone
as Mother痴 wits disband.
My time is not my own.

When friends decide to phone
our barbeque is planned;
I値l never be alone.

His voice, once dim, has grown;
God speaks as life demands.
My time is not my own--
I値l never be alone.

[Michelle]

Hi Jim,

thanks so much for your time to go through this poem. As I am learning, your advice is sound. I've taken your notes in my revision, although I'm keeping the trimeter. Because I am just wading again into poetic waters, I want to keep this as simple as possible. I've attempted to keep a cohesive sense of meaning until the twisting final quatrain. Hopefully the poem has become nearer an acceptable example of the form.

Thank you, again, for your time, keen eye and expertise.

my best,

Michelle