The Craft [revised 10 Aug 2010], English Sonnet Options

[Guest_bombadil1247_*]

Revision 2 - 11/8/10

The Craft

Our spoken rhythms form the template phase
which poets redefine in measured time
to mimic conversation's turns of phrase
yet meet the strict conditions made by rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered language calls,
seducing us with sound-born melody;
repeated vowels brick the aural walls,
while consonance cements the prosody.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.

line 4 amended 12/8/10.

Revision 1 - 29/7/10[/u]

The Craft

Our spoken rhythms form the template phase
which poets redefine in measured time
to mimic conversation's turns of phrase
yet meet the strict requirements of rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered, language calls
and bids us mark her sounds as melody;
repeated vowels brick the aural walls,
strung consonants cement the prosody.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.


The Craft- Original

Our spoken rhythms form the template’s base
that poets rearrange in measured lines
to make a match with normal turns of phrase
yet meet the strict requirements of rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered, language calls
and bids us set her sounds as melody;
repeated vowels harmonise the whole
while staggered consonants add symmetry.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.

[heartsong7]

Hi Jim,
Very nicely done. I esp like the wrap-up in the couplet. I usually have no problem with slant rhymes and am fine with "lines/rhyme" but the 'base/phrase" pair is a little awkward esp since it appears so early in an otherwise tight scheme.
I wonder about something like:
"our spoken rhythms form a template phase
as poets rearrange each measured line."

enjoyed,
Sue

[Guest_bombadil1247_*]

Hi Jim,
Very nicely done. I esp like the wrap-up in the couplet. I usually have no problem with slant rhymes and am fine with "lines/rhyme" but the 'base/phrase" pair is a little awkward esp since it appears so early in an otherwise tight scheme.
I wonder about something like:
"our spoken rhythms form a template phase
as poets rearrange each measured line."

enjoyed,
Sue

Hi, Sue,

thank you for those welcome comments. I have explained my reasons for using slant rhyme to Alan but have to hold my hand up and admit it was a wrong choice for this piece. I will accept your 'phase' suggestion gratefully and have substituted 'time' for 'lines' to keep this in full rhyme. Hope you approve,
Jim