The Craft [revised 10 Aug 2010], English Sonnet Options

[Guest_bombadil1247_*]

Revision 2 - 11/8/10

The Craft

Our spoken rhythms form the template phase
which poets redefine in measured time
to mimic conversation's turns of phrase
yet meet the strict conditions made by rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered language calls,
seducing us with sound-born melody;
repeated vowels brick the aural walls,
while consonance cements the prosody.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.

line 4 amended 12/8/10.

Revision 1 - 29/7/10[/u]

The Craft

Our spoken rhythms form the template phase
which poets redefine in measured time
to mimic conversation's turns of phrase
yet meet the strict requirements of rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered, language calls
and bids us mark her sounds as melody;
repeated vowels brick the aural walls,
strung consonants cement the prosody.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.


The Craft- Original

Our spoken rhythms form the template’s base
that poets rearrange in measured lines
to make a match with normal turns of phrase
yet meet the strict requirements of rhyme.
Once metre has been mastered, language calls
and bids us set her sounds as melody;
repeated vowels harmonise the whole
while staggered consonants add symmetry.
Apprentice years will teach the bard his art,
set exercises hone the poet’s pen;
improvements, made and measured from the start,
lead learners up to craftsmanship and then,
to challenge preconception’s barren wastes,
push poetry beyond established tastes.

[Alan]

Dear Jim,

This is (not yet) a crit, but a Q :

your 1- 3 and 2 - 4 rhymes are shall we say quite unusual, I'd call them slant. What i want to know is, within the craft that I know you are very good at, if someone ELSE had used those, would they have flagged up at you ?

I ask cuz otherwise this is very good !

Love
Alan

[Guest_bombadil1247_*]

Dear Jim,

This is (not yet) a crit, but a Q :

your 1- 3 and 2 - 4 rhymes are shall we say quite unusual, I'd call them slant. What i want to know is, within the craft that I know you are very good at, if someone ELSE had used those, would they have flagged up at you ?

I ask cuz otherwise this is very good !

Love
Alan

Hi, Alan,

in all conscience, yes they would flag up. Normally, I wouldn't mind because slant rhyme is a very under-used tool imo, especially in forms like the sonnet which are so prescriptive. I felt that the shared assonance of the 'a' and 'i' of lines 1/3; 2/4 and the close consonnance of s/z;n/m were sufficient to allow their use here. Additionally, I was trying to use the development from near to full rhyme as a metaphor of the poet's progress over time - I've tried to use the form as a metaphor before, unsuccessfully, and thought that this piece offered a better opportunity. However, given l.4's 'strict requirements' this was probably not the best idea I ever had. I have re-written to remove the off-rhyme,
Jim