Feather Options

[Mary Boren]

Hello all,

I'm awfully rusty but hoping to light a fire under my balky muse through frequent exposure to good poetry here at MM. Meanwhile, Robin's "Breathe in Me" brought to mind something I was working on a couple of years ago, which I haven't posted here before. I am *always* open to critique.

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"Be a feather on the breath of God." -Hildegard of Bingen

Feather

Breathed into being by God's unbound
imagination,
I am the essence of everything
in all creation,
destined to soar on an eagle's wing
above the ranges,
gracefully drifting beyond the sound
of seasons' changes.

I am a thread in the downy quilt,
beside my brothers,
sheltering nestlings from biting cold
when darkness hovers.
Pivotal, temporal tides may fold
but not destroy me,
borne on an aerodynamic lilt
to guide and buoy me.

I am the spirit of east to west
in acquiescence,
trusting the flow of the breeze that fanned
my holy presence.
Once I am given to understand
the art of sailing,
I will return to the place of rest
through God's inhaling.

[Guest_bombadil1247_*]

Hello all,

I'm awfully rusty but hoping to light a fire under my balky muse through frequent exposure to good poetry here at MM. Meanwhile, Robin's "Breathe in Me" brought to mind something I was working on a couple of years ago, which I haven't posted here before. I am *always* open to critique.

-------------------

"Be a feather on the breath of God." -Hildegard of Bingen

Feather

Breathed into being by God's unbound
imagination,
I am the essence of everything
in all creation,
destined to soar on an eagle's wing
above the ranges,
gracefully drifting beyond the sound
of seasons' changes.

I am a thread in the downy quilt,
beside my brothers,
sheltering nestlings from biting cold
when darkness hovers.
Pivotal, temporal tides may fold
but not destroy me,
borne on an aerodynamic lilt
to guide and buoy me.

I am the spirit of east to west
in acquiescence,
trusting the flow of the breeze that fanned
my holy presence.
Once I am given to understand
the art of sailing,
I will return to the place of rest
through God's inhaling.

Hi, Mary,

like all before me, I really enjoyed this posting. There are 2 little points I want to offer for your consideration. Firstly, I'm not sure why you didn't lay this out in its couplets so that the rhymes are closer together; secondly, that 'all' follows 'everything' very quickly and seems a tad redundant, perhaps just 'His creation'? Yours to use or lose of course, thanks for sharing,
Jim