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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
 May 27 10, 05:08
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#1
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 Assyrian  Posts: 262 Joined: 4-February 09 Member No.: 756 Real Name: Robin DeWalt Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Winning Writer's web site  |
I've never seen an angel's toe
laced in golden thong. But I have seen the devil's hand in every deed that's wrong. Where is the harp, the flute, and fife to play me through this silent life? If only God would breathe in me a deeper faith to set me free, I'd drop my burdens gratefully and walk the shores I cannot see. ·······  ······· |
  
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May 27 10, 10:26
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#2
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 Babylonian Posts: 138 Joined: 11-May 10 From: california Member No.: 1,120 Real Name: karen Writer of: Poetry |
Hi merle,
This is really nice! Just a few suggestions- take or leave them... I've never seen an angel's toe laced in golden thong. But I've seen the devil's hand ( I would say " I have seen" to smooth the meter there) in every deed that's wrong. Where is the harp, the flute, and fife to play me through this silent life? (beautiful line!) If only God would breathe in me a deeper faith to set me free, ( I love this one too) I'd drop my burdens gratefully convinced of shores I can not see. The last line isn't quite right for me... maybe, "and search for shores I cannot see" ?? either way, this one is lovely. K ······· ······· |
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Posts in this topic
merle Breathe In Me May 27 10, 05:08 
ohsteve Robin, Welcome back,,,been long time no see. your ... May 27 10, 22:27 merle Hi Karen - Thank you so much for taking the time ... May 28 10, 00:31 Kimi Hi Robin,
This is beautiful. I love the message i... May 28 10, 01:40 anaisa and walk the shores I cannot see. ?? May 28 10, 15:02 Eisa Hi Robin
It is so good to read your work again. ... May 28 10, 15:30 merle Hi Kimi, Karen, and Snow -
Thank you all for your... May 28 10, 16:40 
Eisa QUOTE (merle @ May 28 10, 22:40 ) Hi Kimi... May 28 10, 19:06 Psyche Hi Robin!
This is so gently inspirational. It... May 28 10, 22:17 merle Hi Syl -
Thanks for stopping by regardless of the... May 31 10, 00:21 Mary Boren Hi Merle ... er, Robin?
We met briefly last year ... Jul 7 10, 16:52 Cleo_Serapis Hi Robin,
I too thoroughly enjoyed this - and the... Jul 9 10, 14:24 merle Hi Mary,
Yes, by all means use my name...Robin. ... Jul 9 10, 15:36 merle Hi Cleo,
Thank you for the kind comments. I agre... Jul 9 10, 15:38 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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