Breathes Death (Revised), Karnak "Longfellow's Excelsior Challenge" in SQ Format Options

[Larry]

Breathes Death

Ra’s bright device, while waning much too fast
to herald an approaching night, has passed
its zenith. Cloaking all the world in ice
while waning much too fast. Ra’s bright device
breathes death.

Catastrophe’s chill tongue… Flame dead beneath
its skin; a cancerous and blackened sheath,
is merely sign the fateful bells have rung.
Flame dead beneath catastrophe’s chill tongue,
breathes death

with stellar groan; proclaims an end to light.
As shadows dance through days once clear and bright,
the distant stars observe. What once had shone
proclaims an end to light with stellar groan;
breathes death.

No one replied as mournful prayers were said
imploring pity. Naught was overhead
but Stygian abyss; mouth gaping wide
as mournful prayers were said. No one replied!
Breathes Death,

“Hear now that solar sigh. Entropy’s rest
has stolen time!” No succor from the breast
which gave you life. All sightless stars must eye
entropy’s rest. “Hear now! That solar sigh
breathes death.”

Among the heaven’s height, a tiny branch
means nothing. A galactic avalanche
renews itself within black void each night.
A tiny branch among the heaven’s height
breathes death.

Hot air, wind from the stars, speeds heavenward.
Zeta-Reticuli, no Saint... Bernard
propels itself to meet Sol’s final prayer.
Wind from the stars speeds heavenward. Hot air
breathes death.

Ra’s bright device, like Isis’ faithful hound
emerging from its underworld, was found
to mark the solstice’s warmth. Shining like ice,
like Isis’ faithful hound, Ra’s bright device
breathes death.

Once molten star, Sol turned a sullen gray
and sightless orb toward a place where lay
its children’s frozen ashes. From afar,
Sol turned a sullen gray. Once molten star
breathes death.

Larry D. Jennings

[Sekhmet]

Good morning Larry. The ladies of the poetry group smiled politely. Frivolity is not to be encouraged!
Ours is a very select and serious group, comprising - two retired headmistress, a Fellow of a Cambridge College - and me!
Their verses were all 'worthy' (which, from a Brit, is an insult.) At least mine rhymed!
Of course, this is all sour grapes on my part - they are all much, much brighter than me - and scare me mightily!

Have we reached the last of your Longfellow's Excelsior re-workings? Or are you hatching another, to leap out at us; 'just when we feel it's safe to go back into the water.'?
Hugs, Leo