A Hand Up (Tweaked, thx Alan), Sonnet Options

[Mary Boren]

I hesitate to post another poem with two still on the board, but since things are kinda slow I hope it will be OK to start workshopping this one while those slide on down. On this day of Thanksgiving, I'm counting my blessings (including new friends here at MM), and near the top of the page is ...

A Hand Up

A cattle trailer stops, my scooter swerves ...
but not enough. Within a blink, my wrist
is shattered, zapping tendons, muscles, nerves
and vital ligaments. They're sorely missed.

A hundred years ago, there would have been
two choices: cut it off or let it dangle,
a shriveled, lifeless paw. Now, skillful men
and women have the know-how to untangle
a royal mess. Through microsurgery,
the bones are reconstructed. Months and days
of exercise, massage and therapy
work wonders, proving optimism pays.

They gave a hand. I'll raise it as a sign
of readiness to serve. It's God's, not mine.

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Original L4
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and ligaments. They would be sorely missed.

[Mary Boren]

Thanks, Alan. Good calls, all. I've edited to eliminate the double would, which had escaped me, and will continue to rethink months and days. I do see what you mean about that excessively sibilant conclusion. Normally it would bother me too. Hmm, I'll keep it for now and see if it begins to.

Peggy, I'm glad to know your feelings on this. Thanks for the encouraging words. Actually, as little as 20 years ago there would have been little chance of full recovery. A sobering thought, for sure. Better be careful what we wish for, huh?

Mary