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> Henny Penny Speaks to America (tweaked w/thx Merle), ABAB w/alternating hep/pent lines
Mary Boren
post Nov 18 09, 10:25
Post #1


Creative Chieftain
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Group: Bronze Member
Posts: 600
Joined: 14-April 07
From: Texas Hill Country
Member No.: 420
Real Name: Mary Boren
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Kathy Earsman



A tally of predicaments could wrap around the block.
The kids need shoes; the bill collector's calling.
Politisquabbles dominate the news at 6 o'clock.
Relax, the sky is probably not falling.

The pundits paint a bleak scenario. Predictions seem
convincing in their repetitious drumming,
but to the watchers waking from a bad collective dream,
one thing alone is certain: Change is coming.

More likely what we're feeling is a planetary jerk
produced by waves of panic. But, believe it
or not, a proven principle is steadily at work:
The world's as good or bad as you perceive it.

So when you're pecking for a meal on ground that's parched and hard,
and hear the sound of thunderclouds advancing,
take heart. Don't blindly string along with chickens from the yard
to hunker in the coop. Look up! Start dancing!

Perhaps the slurpy spectacle as optimists cavort
in mud could set a brighter course. Thank heaven
our future's not determined by the 6 o'clock report.
"America's Got Talent" airs at seven.

-----------
originally ...
-----------

An index of catastrophes could wrap around the block.
You're jobless, and the bill collector's calling.


·······IPB·······

Mary Sullivan Boren
Connecting ... Even Yet
"There is in all things - a hidden wholeness." -Thomas Merton

MM Award Winner
 
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jgdittier
post Nov 23 09, 12:05
Post #2


Creative Chieftain
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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 1,802
Joined: 24-April 04
From: Connecticut
Member No.: 58
Real Name: Ron Jones
Writer of: Poetry



Dear Mary,
Time for a comment from the faded perspective...
As is the usual case with your poetry, it glistens from both its message and its presentation.
For me to attempt to improve on it must be limited to a typo!
In that it deeserves comment, I'll comment thusly:
It seems to me that all the comments are directed totally at the message. Methinks that means the careful form you always supply, the choice of words and their flow, the MUSIC your poetry contains seems to go unnoticed.
I know you are adament about your commitment to meter.
You amaze me in handling it so well even with your commitment to enjambment, one of the poetry ploys I
haven't learned to master.
I've long admitted I want the verse I write to be as little like prose as I can make it. I never detect a semblance of prose in your works!
Cheers, Ron jgdittier


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Ron Jones

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