The Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Day, X 10 for November 7th bySekhmet Options

[Sekhmet]

The Eleventh Hour of the Eleventh Day (1st revision)
Thanks Mary, Allan & Wally



Still they spawn those noble words;
those antique tales, that ancient story;
ringing out in Trojan ears; that
paean for death - or foreign glory.


'Here we stand!' - and - 'Here we fall!'
'They shall not pass !' 'The flag still waves!'
Democracy we'll give Iraq -
consigning thousands to their graves.

Loud, their pledge - 'We won't forget!'
Mouthed by men who never fought.
Heads held high, our young men march,
their youth and vigour brought to naught.

Still great men lay their poppy wreath; of
blood-soaked flowers, to hide beneath.





Still they spawn those noble words.
That antique tale ; that ancient story.
It rang out in the ears of Troy;
a peon to death - or foreign glory.


'Here we stand, and here we fall!'
'They shall not pass!' A flag to wave.
Freedom and peace we'll give Iraq;
yet send ten thousand to their grave.

And now, their pledge - 'We won't forget!'
Mouthed by men who never fought.
With heads held high, the young men go;
their youth and vigour brought to naught.


Still great men lay their poppy wreath,
with arrogance beyond belief.

10 Challenge Words used: Peace/freedom/noble/ grave/held/stand/wave/foreign/defend/glory

[Sekhmet]

Good morning Alan - Thank you for your suggestion; I just might take you up on that one! I have been prompted to do a re-write - so watch this space. That's what I love about MM - we can expect, and learn from, an honest crit - one which will help to bring a poem to a pleasing conclusion.
Thanks for your input,
Leo