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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
| Guest_alice_* |
 Jul 31 09, 11:44
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Harbour waters
I see me in my daughters face Alice44 |
  
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Sep 6 09, 18:57
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 19,892 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Hey, Alice...
love what you're doing, and some of your 'revisions' are really fine... but there is always something intriguing about the original IMPRESSION that creates the senryu/haiku... so I'd really like to see you return to the harbour waters impression somehow. "Traditional" haiku (as you know, Alice) has nothing to do with 5-7-5, the rubric that most of us learned in our introduction to haiku, so I also like your resistance to being placed in that box. For me, the only workable rubric seems to be short/long/short, in general, keeping in mind two images juxtaposed upon each other from the same impression. daughter's face in the harbour waters... my own smile Lightly, Daniel 
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Posts in this topic
alice Haiku Jul 31 09, 11:44 
ace Alice:
Nice image. But even if you ignore the... Jul 31 09, 15:24 alice hi Ace..not sure I agree with balancing by numbers... Aug 1 09, 08:00 Cleo_Serapis Hi Alice44,
A nice image here in this one! I ... Aug 1 09, 08:07 alice Hi Cleo, I agree with the senryu..and this was wri... Aug 2 09, 08:37 Arnfinn G'day.
Love the imagery.
Regards,
John Aug 3 09, 04:58 ohsteve Alice, I already stated my trouble with Hiaku/ Sen... Aug 3 09, 16:21 Eisa Harbour waters
I see me in my
daughters face
Ali... Aug 3 09, 18:32 alice Steve, hi
I love how one ku can develop into so ma... Aug 4 09, 10:15 Cleo_Serapis Ooohhhh - I'm fond of this variation:
two fac... Aug 4 09, 13:44 Thoth Loved the image, It is getting us all inspired... Aug 4 09, 16:13 Eisa Hi Alice
I love both of your further thoughts on ... Aug 4 09, 16:40 alice Cleo, glad you liked it..I love how we can feed of... Aug 4 09, 19:11 alice Wally, I look forward to reading yours..
thanks so... Aug 4 09, 19:13 alice Snow thank you..
I find these forms difficult. It ... Aug 4 09, 19:17 
Larry Hi Alice,
Welcome to MM and the wonderful interac... Sep 7 09, 12:29 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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