 The Parrot and the Coot (Final Draft), limerick |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
 Aug 16 09, 22:33
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 Greek  Posts: 698 Joined: 29-May 06 From: US East Coast Member No.: 185 Real Name: Peggy Harwood Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:just wandered in  |
The Parrot and the Coot ( Final Draft)
A young parrot owned by an old coot laid an egg in her master's new boot. The man slipped it on and let out a groan while the bird stayed suspiciously mute. The Parrot and the Coot ( Revision 1) A young parrot owned by an old coot laid an egg in the old one's new boot. The man slipped it on and let out a groan while the bird squaked, "So go buy a newt!" Peggy Carpenter Harwood The Parrot and the Coot A young parrot owned by an old coot laid an egg in the old one's new boot. The man slipped it on and let out a groan while the bird stayed suspiciously mute. Peggy Carpenter Harwood ·······  ······· |
  
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Sep 3 09, 15:04
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#2
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 Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 783 Joined: 24-July 07 From: South Africa Member No.: 457 Real Name: Walter Schwim Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Mistral |
To be honest Peggy, this one is still lumpy to me.
The metre is out in a couple of places. I will do a full scansion and point out the errant places if you wish. typo - "squawked" I think. And the use of "old" in successive lines bothers me. Hugs, Wally ······· ······· |
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Posts in this topic
Peggy Carpenter Harwood The Parrot and the Coot (Final Draft) Aug 16 09, 22:33 
Thoth Hi Peggy,
Shouldn't it be "an egg"?... Aug 18 09, 14:17 ohsteve Peggy, I think the first two lines are a fantastic... Aug 18 09, 19:40 Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Wally and Steve,
You both agree and now so do ... Aug 19 09, 17:39 ace Peggy:
I have tried to comment on this well do... Aug 28 09, 17:17 Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Ace,
Thanks ever so kindly for the vote of con... Sep 1 09, 20:11 
Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Wally,
Thank you so much for catching the word... Sep 3 09, 15:48 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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