The Parrot and the Coot (Final Draft), limerick Options

[Maggie]

The Parrot and the Coot ( Final Draft)

A young parrot owned by an old coot
laid an egg in her master's new boot.
The man slipped it on
and let out a groan
while the bird stayed suspiciously mute.


The Parrot and the Coot ( Revision 1)

A young parrot owned by an old coot
laid an egg in the old one's new boot.
The man slipped it on
and let out a groan
while the bird squaked, "So go buy a newt!"

Peggy Carpenter Harwood


The Parrot and the Coot

A young parrot owned by an old coot
laid an egg in the old one's new boot.
The man slipped it on
and let out a groan
while the bird stayed suspiciously mute.


Peggy Carpenter Harwood

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Peggy, I think the first two lines are a fantastic beginning but the middle rhyme and the last line left me wanting... the middle being a near rhyme just doesn't make it for me, and the ending was way too blah, you need that twist of surprize.

Steve