 Epitath, Short poem |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
 Aug 4 09, 17:59
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#1
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 Babylonian  Posts: 87 Joined: 27-November 06 Member No.: 361 Real Name: Ross Baird Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Mysty  |
Epitaph It all went so fast: I should have looked more; I should have listened, and, perhaps, sometimes felt more before now. ace |
  
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Aug 5 09, 11:57
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#2
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 Assyrian Posts: 174 Joined: 27-May 07 From: Indiana, USA Member No.: 439 Real Name: Dee Stotts Writer of: Poetry |
I like it. Simple. True.
Just a couple suggestions... I would leave out "sometimes". You really don't need it and it loses power (I think). Also, the ending is somewhat redundant, since you suggest "before now" with the "should have". Perhaps an ending of... I should have. Just my two cents. Enjoyed. |
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Aug 5 09, 17:11
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#3
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Babylonian Posts: 87 Joined: 27-November 06 Member No.: 361 Real Name: Ross Baird Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Mysty |
Dee:
Thanks for the read and the suggestions. I want to mull them over a bit. I sort of like the drawing out of the last two words and lines. I wanted a sort of halting approach. ace QUOTE (Dee @ Aug 5 09, 11:57 )  I like it. Simple. True. Just a couple suggestions... I would leave out "sometimes". You really don't need it and it loses power (I think). Also, the ending is somewhat redundant, since you suggest "before now" with the "should have". Perhaps an ending of... I should have. Just my two cents. Enjoyed. |
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Posts in this topic
ace Epitath Aug 4 09, 17:59 
Psyche Hi Ace!
My 2 cents... to toss or take! I l... Aug 6 09, 00:21 
ace Syl:
Thank you so very much; wish I could hav... Aug 6 09, 13:54 Arnfinn G'day, Ross
Epitath
It all went so fast:
I... Aug 7 09, 02:21 Eisa Hi Ace
I like the message in this one and there i... Aug 7 09, 17:37 Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Ace,
Don't think I've met you before. ... Aug 13 09, 23:49 bipolarwriter Hi. Nice to meet you. I personally enjoyed your po... Aug 22 09, 21:16 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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