Steve, hi I love how one ku can develop into so many others, each with their own merit. I think the problem with trying to fit into a set amount of syllables is that it can make the writer fill out the poem with unnecessary words.
perhaps I can change my ku to
Harbour waters in my daughters face I see myself
or
two faces in one my daughters mouth returns my smile
hmmm not as easy as it looks
thank you for your valuable comments.
regards Alice
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