4th March 2009 Options

[Guest_Ishmael_*]

And in the nights to come the sky will empty
The stars will leave the mourning to rusted moons
Lowering their eyes and coughing as they go
In early twilights breezes glowing guilty
Fiddle with leaves and all the brittle coffins
Lie scattered beneath a single trembling bough

Forget the lies of a vengeance still to come
Whispered by plumes that rise in fretful ribbons
Nothing stirs the covens they stand without shame
Consumptive figures of fun with all their claws
Raking the flaccid clouds and when the rains
Do fall the witches gather them up for oils

And who’s to say when the urge might strike again
To leave the gate for misery’s herds ajar
So lie right here my peach where the husks are blown
And lonely ghosts can watch us night after night
Damping down the dust with trickles of nectar
Let ravens scrape the sky with their broken wit

[jgdittier]

Dear Ishmael,
I'm the neighborhood "sing-song" reader and so, being out of sync with modern methods, my comment isn't likely to be all that helpful.
As a verser rather than a poet, I'm mechanical and though I appreciate the imagery, I too would benefit from more punctuation as I care greatly that what I write is read the way I hope for it. Thus I'm occasionally reminded that I use too much punctuation.
More important than anything already covered, I'm curious and wonder what are your reasons for avoiding punctuation. I'm also one who appreciates footnote explanations as to the writer's techniques and words/phrases that we may fail to understand.
Cheers, Ron jgdittier